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Content warning- Tullamarine family murder


Pooks

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My heart breaks, and so soon after the house fire in Mount Waverly


Fly high in paradise angels xx

 

Plus the three in the new family in Point Cook early December.


Seven little people who never got a chance at life, in one city, in six weeks.

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I saw on the news a while ago, a friend (who they interviewed yesterday and she didn’t mention it then) saying that she did seem ‘withdrawn’ (if I remember correctly) when the families got together a few weeks ago.

So, so sad.

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When I heard about it yesterday, I did think "it's the dad". Just happens all too often.


How heartbreaking. 7news tonight had footage of the dad being led to a police car. He looked completely shattered.

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It’s hard not to make assumptions. Two women and their children killed in recent days. This is horrific. When will violence against women stop?

 

The finale line of this article is chilling.


Suspect many many DV families are quiet...


It involved the whole family but the man survived?


I’m furious. I know I shouldn’t be but this article has too many red flags.


https://www.theage.com.au/national/victoria/police-investigate-after-four-found-dead-at-tullamarine-property-20210114-p56u52.html

 

It is sad that so many of us, me included, automatically think the man perpetrated the violence.


What I do find sad is the double standards in the social media comments about this case. If it were the father, the vast majority would be (figuratively) baying for blood. There would be little mention of mental health issues, just how abhorrent a crime. Sorry, but I have absolutely no sympathy for a pathetic excuse of a person to kill her 3 beautiful, innocent children and am sick of the double standards that suggest she needs sympathy. The sympathy should be solely directed the father, the children and their family and friends who will never be the same again.


Luke Batty's father had mental health issues but in the eyes of the press he was still a monster. Why is this murderer any different just because she is a woman who killed her children instead of a man?

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[mention]indi[/mention] I think some of it is due to the fact that she also took her own life. A significant percentage of offending men will kill the children, leaving the woman and themselves alive. Robert Farquharson is a good example, there are plenty of others.


There have been women who've killed the children, claiming they intended to take their own lives, but didn't go through with it - Donna Fitchett was found to have killed them as punishment for the father, but claiming that she intended to take her own life 'and couldn't leave them behind'.


It's also less common, I believe, for men to kill themselves and their children.

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I think there is validity in the comments about mental health and the different weight we place on that if it’s the mother versus the father. We are all mothers and cannot fathom a rational, mentally well mother doing this. But we can for a father. Sadly the number of cases where it’s a vindictive father as the perpetrator has coloured our view.

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A lot of the differences between fathers and mothers who kill their children (and then themselves) is that the men do it to hurt the surviving parent. Women who do this are often ill and want to end their suffering, the surviving parent isn’t a consideration at all.

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I don't think it's in anyones best interests to compare cases. Each situation is unique and has it's own circumstances. The Police have put forward a preliminary report. Things may change in the coming days as new information arises.

I'm not ruling anything out at this point.

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One of the articles I read had support line for covid, which suggests covid may have contributed to the mental health issues.


I don't think she was painted as a murderer, because it wasn't vindictive. There also weren't signs that anyone could pick up on, to say it could have been prevented.


It's a really sad situation for all involved, and I really hope the father is well supported through what would be the worst days of his life.

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[mention]indi[/mention] a contributing factor as well is men are more likely to kill in an obviously violently way with in some cases potential witnesses who saw or heard the fear/distress etc whilst women are more likely to kill in less physically violent ways meaning often the cause of death is not as easily established immediately by the media.

I am vaguely connected to four cases where children were killed that received media attention. All received similar treatment initially and social media posts blaming the parent who wasn't involved was -from what I saw- at it's highest on a very violent case where apparently the father was justified because there was a custody dispute in play.

A case where a man killed his child as a result of mental health issues firstly received almost no press but also that press and social media were very sympathetic to what a horrifically sad situation that was pretty much across the board.


As I said earlier I'm just so desperately sad for the father and the family and friends.

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It is sad that so many of us, me included, automatically think the man perpetrated the violence.


What I do find sad is the double standards in the social media comments about this case. If it were the father, the vast majority would be (figuratively) baying for blood. There would be little mention of mental health issues, just how abhorrent a crime. Sorry, but I have absolutely no sympathy for a pathetic excuse of a person to kill her 3 beautiful, innocent children and am sick of the double standards that suggest she needs sympathy. The sympathy should be solely directed the father, the children and their family and friends who will never be the same again.


Luke Batty's father had mental health issues but in the eyes of the press he was still a monster. Why is this murderer any different just because she is a woman who killed her children instead of a man?

 

Your post just made me cry. You have no idea how much it means to me that you've stood up and taken this position. Thankyou for not minimising or excusing. Thankyou :sob: .

I think there is validity in the comments about mental health and the different weight we place on that if it’s the mother versus the father. We are all mothers and cannot fathom a rational, mentally well mother doing this. But we can for a father. Sadly the number of cases where it’s a vindictive father as the perpetrator has coloured our view.

 

* disclaimer - this is no reflection on the current case, this is solely about society's view of mother as perpetrator


I think in cases where the mother parents through that traditionally "male" lense of power and control over the chldren, seeing them as an extension of self instead of as individuals separate from her-which is the dynamic that is at the crux of these murder/suicide filicides-, it is so far outside people's gender assumptions that they need to twist it to make it palatable. It doesn't need the element of vindictiveness to have that element of ownership and objectification of the children.

Survivors of maternal abuse are above and beyond the most vilified and silenced of all parental abuse survivors. The only people who offer us any empathy are men with really obvious agendas (who can fuck right off). Everyone else tells us to shut up or rewites our stories through a lense which minimises what happened and steals our voices from us. We end up in a precarious postion where women see us as the enemy who must be silenced at all costs, even if it means destroying us - much like how men respond to rape survivors

Something like this happening puts us in a dilemma of conscience every time. We know everyone would prefer we keep silent. We may prefer to keep silent lest our words get used by an abuser against someone else. People just won't believe it. Especially when often it was about vindictiveness. That's just not a supposedly "female" characteristic so it's outside of everyone's ken. So no one scrutinses female led households for red flags. And those kids will keep slipping through the cracks, just like I did. No idea if I even have a point to make here- I just hate everything and the world is very black today tbh.

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