HypnicJerk Posted February 2, 2021 Share Posted February 2, 2021 Last week DH, while correcting the jumping technique of a female teen, described her action as being unladylike. What he meant to say was "keep your knees straight as you jump".Today DD was telling us that a boy at school was calling her a nerd. DH dived in with "It probably means he likes you". I cut him off, with death stares and he looked at me stupidly say "what'd I do".I want to send him articles to reeducate him on how not to be that person. I don't know what even words to use I'm still stumped that he could be so backward.Anyone got some suggestions for me? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seemingly Posted February 2, 2021 Share Posted February 2, 2021 On the old EB forums someone suggested responding with "could you please explain what you mean?" when encountering something they considered baffling."Her technique is unladylike." - "Could you please explain what you mean?""He probably likes you." - "Could you please explain what you mean?""Boys will be boys!" - "Could you please explain what you mean?""Girls have more patience than boys." - "Could you please explain what you mean?"Works with anything!"You know, *her* type." - "Could you please explain what you mean?""You know what they say about blondes." - "Could you please explain what you mean?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ron Swanson Posted February 2, 2021 Share Posted February 2, 2021 This video covers boys treating girls badly "because they like them" There's a few others too.Words matterhttps://www.smh.com.au/national/words-matter-but-some-words-matter-more-than-others-20160603-gpb3ha.html Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 2, 2021 Share Posted February 2, 2021 Rebecca Solnit's essay collection "Men Explain Things to Me" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HypnicJerk Posted February 2, 2021 Author Share Posted February 2, 2021 On the old EB forums someone suggested responding with "could you please explain what you mean?" when encountering something they considered baffling."Her technique is unladylike." - "Could you please explain what you mean?""He probably likes you." - "Could you please explain what you mean?""Boys will be boys!" - "Could you please explain what you mean?""Girls have more patience than boys." - "Could you please explain what you mean?"Works with anything!"You know, *her* type." - "Could you please explain what you mean?""You know what they say about blondes." - "Could you please explain what you mean?" I like this, though I wouldn't be game to say it in front of DD in case he comes out with something worse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LemonMyrtle Posted February 2, 2021 Share Posted February 2, 2021 Spray bottle? Squirt him every time he says something sexist. Yup. Do this.Would your DH actually read the articles OP? Mine wouldn’t. My only hope is constant constant reminders that what he just said is sexist. And his work place’s diversity training helped a lot. And he is still sexist. It’s so ingrained in him it will never stop. But at least he doesn’t verbalise it as much these days. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bethlehem Posted February 2, 2021 Share Posted February 2, 2021 I’d actually approach it differently. I think I’d start by getting his thoughts on this and there are many different articles on it at the time. He may not read anything that’s woman focused. This focuses on how women’s issue impact men. (Consider it a soft opening)https://www.quarterlyessay.com.au/essay/2019/09/men-at-work Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lurker Posted February 2, 2021 Share Posted February 2, 2021 I would challenge it each and every time. It'd be great if she didn't hear her dad say sexist stuff, but realistically she'll hear other men and boys (and in fact all people, other women and girls too) say sexist shit in her life so it's better she hears good comebacks, or good discussion. "What?! Why would that mean he likes her? Wouldn't he be nice to her if he liked her?""Well.... you know what I mean.....he's too shy to say so""So it's ok to insult her? She's just supposed to guess? Are girls always supposed to hope boys really like them and don't know how to express themselves when they like a girl? Are they always supposed to do all the work of figuring it out?""No of course not""What about (boy's name), he can express himself ok. Boys aren't too helpless to say what they mean""Yeah yeah no of course they're not" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HypnicJerk Posted February 2, 2021 Author Share Posted February 2, 2021 Spray bottle? Squirt him every time he says something sexist. Yup. Do this.Would your DH actually read the articles OP? Mine wouldn’t. My only hope is constant constant reminders that what he just said is sexist. And his work place’s diversity training helped a lot. And he is still sexist. It’s so ingrained in him it will never stop. But at least he doesn’t verbalise it as much these days. He would actually. We had a conversation the other day about Benevolent sexism. It was in response to the Abby Chatfiled v Dipper exchange. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Purpleblaze Posted February 3, 2021 Share Posted February 3, 2021 This was eye opening for mehttps://www.theguardian.com/books/2020/aug/13/benevolent-sexism-a-feminist-comic-explains-how-it-holds-women-back Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mooguru Posted February 3, 2021 Share Posted February 3, 2021 This is an article that I've referred back to for whataboutism.https://victimfocusblog.com/2018/01/03/stop-asking-me-what-about-men/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Purpleblaze Posted February 4, 2021 Share Posted February 4, 2021 Not really a feminist article but still a good article into women's psyche:https://www.huffpost.com/entry/she-divorced-me-i-left-dishes-by-the-sink_b_9055288Also Clementine Ford pretty much talks feminist issues on a daily basis. If you follow her on FB or insta she frequently posts both verbal and written explanations of feminist issues. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ozgirl Posted February 4, 2021 Share Posted February 4, 2021 I need to show my mum something! She is obsessed with being presentable when leaving the house. When my niece and newphew came to stay she was always on at my niece to brush her hair every time we left the house. And today - we went out together, she actually questioned my choice to leave the house with my bra showing!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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