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Here comes Mother's Day....


LifesGood

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Oh I actually miss the mother's day stall presents from primary school now my girls are adults!

 

Yeah ds is only in year 8 and I miss them already, I have to be honest and the first year was the only useful item but I loved the ritual of them

 

The girls would always get something that had chocolate in it, can't go wrong with me and chocolate 😊

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It is DD’s 15th birthday on Saturday, and we are in the process of moving so she and I are just going out for coffee and cake on our own, we are both excited about it 😀

 

Saturday is my DD's birthday too - we are doing the same as you, morning tea at a nice cafe and some girl time shopping. Mothers Day is mostly a non event in this household because according to my DH I am not his mother......that said he does nothing for his mother either

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Mother's Day is severed into two different days for me as it's on a different day for my mum overseas.


I probably treasure my child's spontaneous gestures throughout the year more than the Hallmarky vibe of Mother's Day. Like the time I injured my ankle and as DH was helping me into bed just minutes after the accident, DD roadrunnered in with a handmade get well card... 😂 That gift has no price tag.

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It is DD’s 15th birthday on Saturday, and we are in the process of moving so she and I are just going out for coffee and cake on our own, we are both excited about it 😀

 

Saturday is my DD's birthday too - we are doing the same as you, morning tea at a nice cafe and some girl time shopping. Mothers Day is mostly a non event in this household because according to my DH I am not his mother......that said he does nothing for his mother either

 

Oh nice, Happy Birthday to our girls 🌺

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jojonbeanie

We don't usually go in for a lot of commercial stuff on Mother's Day but this year we had big plans that may be scuppered depending on the new COVID situation in Sydney.


The plan was:


My son flies in from NZ to Melbourne on Saturday morning and I do not much else but hug him for 24 hours, catching up on the last 18 months of adoration. Then on Sunday morning he and I fly to Sydney where a limo will pick us up at the airport and transfer us to the theatre to see Hamilton from our centre, front row, dress circle seats. After the show I am whisked away to a five-star hotel for an afternoon nap while he catches up with some friends for a quick drink. I rise fabulously fresh from my nap and dress for dinner. Then my handsome escort takes me out for cocktails and a delicious meal. We return to the hotel and watch our favourite movie together before retiring for the night. In the morning I have a sleep-in and a late check-out while he visits an orchestra rehearsal for work. We go for a slow walk together and a long lunch before flying back to Melbourne in the afternoon and then meeting up with friends for dinner. Next day it's back to the hospital for chemo.


New plan:


Who the fuck knows?

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Blueskies12

I am not that into it.


I also find it annoying that society tells us there's a day where we should celebrate. If we have a good relationship with our mums, shouldn't we do that every day/regularly anyway and if we don't have a good relationship then a sharp reminder is painful. These days can be painful, for the women that want to be Mums, those that have lost their Mums, those that have a difficult relationship with their children/mothers, the ones that have lost children etc. Which is why I can't stand it when people post on social media- "Look at my Mother's Day- I am so blessed!" It can be triggering.


And well our fabulous *cough* Mother's Day stall is one where you choose and order your exact present for $5 on a big canteen/tuckshop ordering type website. I wonder who has done the online ordering for our school? The Dads? The kids? Or the mums? How wonderful to add to our to-do list, add to landfill, and so our children and partners don't have to think of anything. I like the old fashioned one where the kids take $2-$5 and choose something themselves.


A little drawing/card/flower from the garden would be amazing.


I did say that I wanted to go to the beach and have a bbq, but I'd like to do that anyway.


Actually STBG, the job you have done is so special. The best Mother's Day I have ever had is when I'd had my first son and he was in SCBU on Mother's Day. The nurses gave us flowers, a poem and a little pack and their kindness will never be forgotten.

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I have to go to the MD morning tea tomorrow. DD knows I don't want to and said I don't have to, but then I feel guilt that I don't want to. I know she won't be the only kid without a mum there, but there won't be many not turn up I suspect.

She knows I dislike the singing and as she said, we can eat cake at home lol.

But the reason I'm not working during her primary years is partly so i CAN go to these events! but I dun wanna lol.

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LifesGood

I really didn't do enough for my mum when she was alive. If I had my time again, I'd make it so much more special. And I'd do more every day, not just on Mother's Day.


My husband has ordered slippers for me. He did tonnes of research and found the best combination of features (for me). He's also ordered a book on PBL (problem-based learning lol). Plus I know that he and our son are colluding on some kind of scheme.


My son is excited about Mother's Day because he's been taught - by his teachers and my husband - that his mum is important. I don't even deserve it. In any case, all I ever want is cuddles and to spend time with them. I'm not fussed about gifts (although I love what they've bought me), as long as we get to have a nice day together.


I know that my husband is going to extra effort this year because I'm having a tough time with work (it really needs its own thread).

Start a thread, that's what eb is for :thumbup:

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Sincerely

I’m not speaking to my mum but I did send her a gift. I hate all the hallmark style marketing around it 😩 it just reminds me of how shit our mother daughter relationship is.

I usually decide what we’re doing with DH and the kids, and this year, the less fuss the better 😁 I find it a weird day, the kids always end up fighting and then feeling bad, I’d rather everyone just act normal than have all this pressure to be perfect!

 

I’m pretty upset about my relationship with my mum too. She’s alienated herself so much that my eldest won’t talk to her and DH insists, for the first time ever, he doesn’t want to have her over on the day. In the past, Mothers’ Day has been all about her, her birthday has been all about her and MY birthday has been all about her because, as she often reminds me, without her, I wouldn’t be here. I feel so sorry for her because she’s very lonely, but I’m tired of cajoling everyone to be nice to her (which makes them grumpy with me) whilst she just takes me for granted and treats me poorly. I’ve never been able to work out if she really is that clueless about how selfish she is, so I’ve always given her the benefit of doubt, but my kids & especially DH have stopped being sympathetic, so I just feel absolutely torn about the day. If it were up to me, I would have her over because otherwise, I could imagine her alone for the day (she’s alienated herself from my brother & his family), but if I insist that she comes, my family would be upset at me,so the day will be ruined either way.

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ImperatorFuriosa

This year DS is at a new school. He's in hs now and he told me today the mothers day stall is selling plants only. Cue a 14, (looks like it), year old walking past with 2 pot plants while I'm waiting to get out of this godforsaken school car park. He asked if I wanted a plant, nope lol. DP comes home with sus shape in his hoodie. Says he went to Coles, yes. But gone to long and sus box shape in hoodie pocket says pressie after I eye it off. Lol

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I am very much looking forward to Mother's Day. My kids and DH will spoil me in the morning and then my sister and I will take Mum out for a girl's only lunch at a fancy restaurant.


I am not entertaining this year so no cooking, cleaning or other people to think about!


DH will take his mum out for lunch on Saturday, which I don't need to participate in!

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Karma Sutra

.it’s just another day.


We used to do the restaurant thing but it revolved into me organising it all - stuff that.


It’s just a day dreamed up and made into a huge commercial money making guilt tripping affair.


I will do what I usually do and my family will do what they usually do and that is nothing.

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Misspent Youth

I think it can turn into a day of bitter disappointment and resentment if you don’t have a close relationship with your own mother. Another reminder of how you failed as a daughter and don’t measure up to how they believe they deserve to be recognised and appreciated.


I celebrate it with my kids to the extent they still have things at school and like feeling part of something but now my DD is older I tell her to absolutely not stress about presents or drama because you don’t need anyone external to tell you how to enjoy your personal relationships.

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Hahaha oh good despite my being VERY direct with DH last Thursday that today was the Mother’s Day stall and that it was HIS JOB to remember to have cash and give it to DD, and to put it in his phone or something because as a Grown Ass Gainfully Employed Human he is perfectly capable of remembering such things... I just *had a feeling* and asked DD if dad had given her any money? Nope! When she then asked him, he looked at her blankly, didn’t know what she was asking about, then got cranky at me as “but I haven’t gone to an ATM why would I have any money??”


So our no-money-sense 6yo has gone to school with a $50 note as that was the only cash in the house, and I have proof once again that apparently only Lady Brains can be expected to remember such complicated things as “kid needs cash on Friday” 😡


I don’t even want anything from the Mother’s Day stall, I just didn’t want her to be the only kid in her class not participating!!

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This year our school did a pre purchased voucher via the school app.

It was really handy and it meant kids weren't spending all their money at the canteen (DD says the 'stall' days have the LONGEST canteen queues!

Stupid app takes 5 or so days to credit the money into the acct via bank transfer though which is frustrating!

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Seayork2002

I just figured and DS was getting something for me from the Mothers Day stalls I just handed him $20 with his lunch/snack money it was quicker than coming up with anything more complicated than that

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We pay $5 on the school app for the kids to choose something from the stall. Nice and easy (and payment goes through immediately) but I guess a missed learning opportunity for the kids!

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Kiwi Bicycle

We pay $5 on the school app for the kids to choose something from the stall. Nice and easy (and payment goes through immediately) but I guess a missed learning opportunity for the kids!

 

It is a huge money skills thing for them. Watching them see real maths in action for two days was so fun. And the pride of them getting the amounts right, correcting me if I gave the wrong change was so worthwhile.


Can I say for those worried that " us mums" were having to run the stalls, can I say the ones who volunteered, at least at my school, were getting something out of it too. Many were recent immigrants and have poor English skills wanting to make some friends, get out of the house, improve their English and see happy kids. It was one easy way they could participate at school. Some like me are just wanting to make people happy, make new friends ( and I did, I have 2 new friends to help me with future stalls) and I love shopping and finding bargains. It also is giving me some self worth. I haven't worked in 12 years due to moving countries, recovering from an accident and mental health. I don't know if I could go back to paid employment. But volunteering has shown me that I am not totally out for pasture. So please, we are happy to help you children and you have a bit of happiness.

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Bornagirl

I’m not speaking to my mum but I did send her a gift. I hate all the hallmark style marketing around it 😩 it just reminds me of how shit our mother daughter relationship is.

I usually decide what we’re doing with DH and the kids, and this year, the less fuss the better 😁 I find it a weird day, the kids always end up fighting and then feeling bad, I’d rather everyone just act normal than have all this pressure to be perfect!

 

I’m pretty upset about my relationship with my mum too. She’s alienated herself so much that my eldest won’t talk to her and DH insists, for the first time ever, he doesn’t want to have her over on the day. In the past, Mothers’ Day has been all about her, her birthday has been all about her and MY birthday has been all about her because, as she often reminds me, without her, I wouldn’t be here. I feel so sorry for her because she’s very lonely, but I’m tired of cajoling everyone to be nice to her (which makes them grumpy with me) whilst she just takes me for granted and treats me poorly. I’ve never been able to work out if she really is that clueless about how selfish she is, so I’ve always given her the benefit of doubt, but my kids & especially DH have stopped being sympathetic, so I just feel absolutely torn about the day. If it were up to me, I would have her over because otherwise, I could imagine her alone for the day (she’s alienated herself from my brother & his family), but if I insist that she comes, my family would be upset at me,so the day will be ruined either way.

 

I'm sorry you're going through that. I absolutely get it.


Given I had a child long after my siblings had finished, I was the single one who always went to her in the country on Mother's Day so she wouldn't be on her own. Even after having a child I went each time, in a routine this time of many years of the others not visiting specifically on the day (but I wasn't doing more than them overall, it was just timing). I would revolve my visits (about six weeks apart) to be around six weeks either side of that day so as I was there ON the day.


Fortunately the siblings all talked to each other, and when one sister reported back that she'd said (about my visit) 'oh these people who ONLY visit on mother's day!!!'. Righteo, my daughter was 12 before I said 'stuff that' and had a sleep in and breakfast in bed on mother's day. (The other crime would usually have been whatever you bought: 'M brought me flowers and all they did was make me sneeze'.) One year I got there before any of the other five had rung, and one after the other her response to them was 'I thought you must have thought I was dead'. True enough, we didn't ring often enough because you had to be strong enough to deal with the fallout.


Finally my lovely MIL got a visit from us ON mother's day, as opposed to the Saturday, which it had been every other year, due to visiting my mother in the country. My mother never once commented on the fact that every mother's day involved me getting up early and driving to the country.


I can only wish you all the best, and remember that she's made choices along the way.

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DD7 has hidden mine in my indoor plant for some reason... It's exactly the same thing as she chose for me two years ago in prep 😂 (no stall last year). Little sticky notes with owls on them 😂

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Julie3Girls

We pay $5 on the school app for the kids to choose something from the stall. Nice and easy (and payment goes through immediately) but I guess a missed learning opportunity for the kids!

 

It is a huge money skills thing for them. Watching them see real maths in action for two days was so fun. And the pride of them getting the amounts right, correcting me if I gave the wrong change was so worthwhile.


Can I say for those worried that " us mums" were having to run the stalls, can I say the ones who volunteered, at least at my school, were getting something out of it too. Many were recent immigrants and have poor English skills wanting to make some friends, get out of the house, improve their English and see happy kids. It was one easy way they could participate at school. Some like me are just wanting to make people happy, make new friends ( and I did, I have 2 new friends to help me with future stalls) and I love shopping and finding bargains. It also is giving me some self worth. I haven't worked in 12 years due to moving countries, recovering from an accident and mental health. I don't know if I could go back to paid employment. But volunteering has shown me that I am not totally out for pasture. So please, we are happy to help you children and you have a bit of happiness.

 

Exactly this on the volunteering. I helped out for years at the Mother’s Day stall. I’ll admit, it’s a pretty big job for the initial organiser, who sources the gifts. But then we would have a big wrapping day, to sort, wrap and divide up the gifts (we’d put the gifts out in batches, so every class group got a good selection of gifts, and the more popular stuff didn’t all go with the first couple of classes.)

Stall day was usually fun ... it was so lovely seeing the kids all seriously making their selection, and counting out their money. Checking who they were buying for (always enough gifts so they could buy multiple to cover mum, stepmum, grandma, nanny etc). Asking them what sort of things mum likes when you are trying to help them choose, would get some cute answers at time. The big smiles when you hand them the gift.

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