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What's the longest you've held a grudge for?


Darryl

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Sincerely, that’s true too. I’d hate to think someone wouldn’t forgive me for something I did as a small child.


I’m sure she has grown up past that sort of mean girls thing.

 

I can understand where you are coming from BUT the hurts I had a child / teen are the ones that have scarred me the most. I'm way more likely to say meh and move on as an adult.

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It is always going to depend on exactly what it is.


As a society, we do understand that our brains and decision making processes are not matured as children.. That’s all I’m saying.

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Sincerely, that’s true too. I’d hate to think someone wouldn’t forgive me for something I did as a small child.


I’m sure she has grown up past that sort of mean girls thing.

 

Oh definitely 😁. I can also absolutely see her perspective about why she didn’t want me hanging around. Absolutely no grudge left in the memory. Did you read the bit at the end of my previous post where I’ve said we are now long distance BFs (she lives overseas)?

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Also would like to add my grudge towards the Year 10 Commerce teacher who pulled me out of class into the corridor to tell me ‘I would never amount to anything’.

Ok I was away from school a lot, but who says that to a 15 year old kid!? Wish I had gone back to stick my Bachelor of Commerce in her face 😌


I had a somewhat similar experience but if I had to pick a feeling it’s sadness, not resentment. There was a dedicated, but quirky teacher at my school whom a lot of students made fun of. He was the main organiser of the Duke of Edinburgh scheme. I dropped out after a year because my mother incessantly nagged me about everything which didn’t involve my head in a textbook. I didn’t want to implicate her at the time, so whatever reason(s) I gave for quitting probably seemed lame to him and he furiously declared I was a quitter and would never amount to anything. He was very disappointed. I think it even somewhat disillusioned him as he said he’d pegged me as an extremely conscientious student. Pity he didn’t know the back story nor of my achievements since then.

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Heather, circa 1979 UK who was my neighbour's school friend. We were playing near her house one day and both my neighbour and I had to go to toilet. My neighbour could go but not me, because I was dark skinned.

 

I feel like I've taken on some of your grudge. That's awful and hugs to you. I hope little minds are bigger today.

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I started out reading the thread thinking, "Nah, I don't hold grudges." But I've realised I do have a couple of people who've hurt me badly in the past, who if they walked back into my life today, remorseful and wanting to be friends, I'd be like, "Nup. That door is shut. We're done." I don't wish them harm or anything, but I have no interest in opening myself back up to them.


Maybe that's a kind of grudge?

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I started out reading the thread thinking, "Nah, I don't hold grudges." But I've realised I do have a couple of people who've hurt me badly in the past, who if they walked back into my life today, remorseful and wanting to be friends, I'd be like, "Nup. That door is shut. We're done." I don't wish them harm or anything, but I have no interest in opening myself back up to them.


Maybe that's a kind of grudge?

 

Thinking about what you are saying I dont disagree or agree but what you wrote made me think of one friend I lost touch with she spent 99% of the time talking about her self now this was not something bad or dramatic but there seemed little point in staying in touch, she was nice enough and I don't hold a grudge (or even think it is one really) so I lost touch.


So I probably would not become friends with her again but just because I don't see a point


If someone did something actually bad I would not want them in my life anyway so I would not hold a grudge I just would lose contact.


I guess I am thinking of a grudge is an active thing and losing touch passive


I don't have energy in my life not the head space for active bad energy I guess

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In my case where my MIL cannot show respect and say my name correctly, I am reminded of my grudge everytime I hear her say my name. So unfortunately I cannot let go of my grudge as " time passes", it's always there.

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I can hold a grudge into the afterlife, but I don't expend any energy on it. I simply cut that person out of my life.

I'm another one who doesn't forgive and doesn't forget.


The longest held grudge would be against my bosses wife from when I was 17 and working in a newsagency. She came in to work, deposited her just walking baby son near to where I was doing some work in the storeroom and left. I finished my work, moved on to another task in another part of the building, assuming the childs mother was nearby. Well, he got into a box of ink bottles, made a hell of a mess and reamed me out for not watching him. I had no flipping idea I was supposed to be! I hated that woman, and never spoke to her again. If she came into work, I'd go somewhere where she wasn't.

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ClaudiaCosette

The singing teacher, when I was in year 2. The whole class had to sing together as tryouts for the school choir. I was the first one she asked to leave (for all I know I was the only one!) I know I'm not a great singer, but really!


Then, a substitute teacher in year 5. I had a new pencil, a souvenir from Sea World. She told us to stop writing, and I had one word left so I quickly finished off. She took my pencil and snapped it in half. I have never recovered.

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A couple of then boys from my highschool who made my life hell with teasing related to my disability. But more than them a hold a grudge against my on-again off-again boyfriend who decided to start calling me the same slur even though he knew it upset me.


That bullying changed my life and I went from a top 5% student to a constant truant and eventually I dropped out.

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I am too lazy to hold a grudge for long.


However, there is this one guy. His face is just so slimy and smirky and his condescending, arse wiping attitude go with it. When I see him (about twice in the last 10 years) I just want to punch him.

 

[mention]DaLittleEd[/mention]

Scomo?!?!

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acidulous osprey

I'm still bearing a grudge towards the midwife who did my care when our first son was stillborn. First she yelled push push push at me when I was delivering. Hello? Not a lot of rush needed in the circumstances.


When we left the hospital and I was weeping she hissed at me to stop crying as pregnant women would see me. WTF bitch?


Then she promised us if we left the baby at the hospital he would be in the delivery room, not the morgue. Came back to learn he was in the morgue. Ifshe hadn't lied, he would have come home with us that first night.

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I am too lazy to hold a grudge for long.


However, there is this one guy. His face is just so slimy and smirky and his condescending, arse wiping attitude go with it. When I see him (about twice in the last 10 years) I just want to punch him.

 

@DaLittleEd

Scomo?!?!

 


Haha. No.

But I hate to think what this man would be like if he had any position of power. The thought is actually terrifying.

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The pathologist at the hospital where my twin boys were born (one stillborn) said to me "oh you should come see the placenta, half of it is dead it's fascinating".


She did not have a good day either, that day. It's the only time I've insisted someone lose their job.

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Jesus Christ, @Mister Mum ; what sort of alleged caring professional does that. I’m appalled.

 

She was a bit of a nut, from what I understand. Definitely should not have been working in that role.

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I had a meeting with the head of the a Sydney hospital and a few other people for the way I found out my grandmother died, well didn't find out until I went in the her room I was directed too and worked out she was not connected to any equipment so went to investigate, then they said 'thought you were told' then I had to break the news to my mum.


I don't hold a grudge but hoped the meeting ensured it did not happen to anyone else like that

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I've held a grudge against Dh for, oh, nearly 20 years now.

I can go years without thinking about it, but it's there, in the background.


We had a cat who would go outside (back when that was allowed and not frowned on) and she'd come in at dinner time when she was called to spend the night inside.

One night she didn't come in, but banged on the door to come in a few hours later at about 10.30 once we were in bed.

Dh got up, opened the front door and hissed at her to go away.

I never saw her again. He maintains it wasn't his fault, but if he'd fucking opened the door and let her in, she would have had, god knows how many more years with us.

I'll never quite forgive him for it. It wasn't 'end my relationship' worthy, but it damaged it.

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