Gabbitz Posted February 25, 2021 Share Posted February 25, 2021 I’m sorry to hear the difficulty of your journey. My journey with my husband to parenthood has been rough too. I’m 40 in a couple of days, my husband is 41 and our journey has encompassed 10 IVF cycles (I think! I kind of lost count).I have severe endo and it has affected my ability to generate mature eggs during an IVF cycle. I respond well to the drugs, but no eggs mature. We were fortunate enough to go on the registry for egg donation back in 2016 and were able to go through a successful pregnancy (albeit early - 32 weeker) and again a second time for Miss 9 months. In QLD, QFG has a donor registry that collates donor options - donor eggs, sperm, embryos etc. not sure what state you’re in, but I would assume that most of the bigger clinic would either have similar or would be linked in to state program. I can answer any questions if you’d like to know anything further. We went through an anonymous route, so we don’t know the donor. But under QLD law, our children are entitled to that information once they turn 18 should they wish to find out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marymaryquitecontrary Posted April 12, 2021 Author Share Posted April 12, 2021 Hello, an update. I was unsuccessful with my last embryo transfer. I have decided to spend the next 2 years building up my nest egg and concentrating on my career and friends and family. In 2 years time I will consider embryo adoption from someone who has complete their family via IVF in Australia. This is to me more ethical than finding donors for embryos and sperm. I will also consider long term fostering. But maybe I will come to the end of the 2 years and decide I do not need to be a mother. That is my hope. Perhaps it all didn’t work out for a reason for me. Maybe I was not meant to be a mother in this lifetime. And that is my journey. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ozgirl Posted April 12, 2021 Share Posted April 12, 2021 Im sorry. But you sound like you have a good plan. My clinic have some embryo's that might be donated. It was offered to me today. I think I am trying one more EPU with my own eggs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marymaryquitecontrary Posted April 13, 2021 Author Share Posted April 13, 2021 Im sorry. But you sound like you have a good plan. My clinic have some embryo's that might be donated. It was offered to me today. I think I am trying one more EPU with my own eggs. Yes there is always that ‘one more chance, one more cycle’ but I am exhausted and have decided that is enough. It is brave to keep going. Is it brave to admit defeat? Maybe. That is amazing your clinic offered you some embryos. Can you accept them and still do another cycle? Or is donor embryos not something you’d consider? I hope you’re doing embryo screening this time so no embryos are transferred that aren’t viable. I tell everyone whose doing IVF the same thing! Don’t do it to yourself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ozgirl Posted April 13, 2021 Share Posted April 13, 2021 Im sorry. But you sound like you have a good plan. My clinic have some embryo's that might be donated. It was offered to me today. I think I am trying one more EPU with my own eggs. Yes there is always that ‘one more chance, one more cycle’ but I am exhausted and have decided that is enough. It is brave to keep going. Is it brave to admit defeat? Maybe. That is amazing your clinic offered you some embryos. Can you accept them and still do another cycle? Or is donor embryos not something you’d consider? I hope you’re doing embryo screening this time so no embryos are transferred that aren’t viable. I tell everyone whose doing IVF the same thing! Don’t do it to yourself. I had the conversation with my embryologist and my FS this week. am I wasting my time/money. Both said no. I get good embryo they just dont stick. my FS was the one who offered the embryo's - but they are still sorting the consents etc. But if I cant get an embryo to stick. Is it worth it? My history is in my sig. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ozgirl Posted June 30, 2022 Share Posted June 30, 2022 Bumping this thread. A few of us seem to be contemplating this at the moment. @marymaryquitecontrarywould you mind updating your story here? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post marymaryquitecontrary Posted July 1, 2022 Author Popular Post Share Posted July 1, 2022 (edited) I last posted a year ago about reaching the end of the journey with my own eggs. It was so hard to actually accept it wasn't going to happen after my life revolving around it for years. I wasn't sure what the next step was, donor embryos, foster to adopt, embracing being child free. I saw a psychiatrist for several months, then spent a few months travelling once boarders opened up. I am now pregnant with a donor embryo. I felt incredibly uncomfortable with creating embryos from two strangers and my child not knowing their genetic history, I have friends who are donor conceived and are very strong advocates for known donors. I was lucky in that my friend and her wife had excess embryos after IVF (with a known donor father) and so generously allowed me to adopt the two embryos. So we transferred one, it failed but the second one is a baby girl due around Christmas. I am so excited to finally be a mother. My daughter will know her biological mother and father and full siblings. She will never wonder where she got her eyes from, her love of music, her sense of humour. She will grow up with older 'cousins' who she sees often (her diblings). And she will grow up with a mother who adores her and will give her a wonderful, happy, love filled life. What also helped was my psychiatrist saying, what is it you want? To pass on your DNA, or to be a parent? I have nieces and nephews, my DNA is passed on through them (if that's important, it isn't!) but I wanted to be a mother, to raise a child. I could have continued for years to have IVF and yes maybe I'd be that one miraculous story of the women who had IVF for 8 years & never gave up and then had twins. But realistically that wasn't going to be me. Instead I am going to be a mother, instead of another 2-3 years of fruitless attempts I will have a baby I'll be busy raising. I can't wait to hold her and kiss her and tell her how much I already love her. Edited November 22, 2022 by marymaryquitecontrary 11 9 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marymaryquitecontrary Posted July 1, 2022 Author Share Posted July 1, 2022 It's a hard thing to accept my baby won't have my DNA but I don't even think about it now. I follow IVF_Tribe on Instagram & she has used donor embryos to have her son. and as she says, they are still your baby. Love makes a family, not DNA. I wanted to be a mum, not pass on my genetics. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gemgirl Posted July 5, 2022 Share Posted July 5, 2022 (edited) Congratulations, Mary! What a wonderful story I'm so happy for you! Wishing you the best! Edited July 5, 2022 by gemgirl 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lees75 Posted July 5, 2022 Share Posted July 5, 2022 Congratulations, @marymaryquitecontrary! I am so pleased for you. My best friend had her first baby earlier this year with a known donor egg and a sperm bank donor, after about 8 years of IVF. She had a little girl, too. It’s so strange, because even though it’s not technically biologically possible, she looks so much like my friend. So precious 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marymaryquitecontrary Posted July 5, 2022 Author Share Posted July 5, 2022 4 hours ago, Lees75 said: Congratulations, @marymaryquitecontrary! I am so pleased for you. My best friend had her first baby earlier this year with a known donor egg and a sperm bank donor, after about 8 years of IVF. She had a little girl, too. It’s so strange, because even though it’s not technically biologically possible, she looks so much like my friend. So precious I love hearing that!! So happy for your friend 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bornagirl Posted July 5, 2022 Share Posted July 5, 2022 On 01/07/2022 at 7:25 PM, marymaryquitecontrary said: It's a hard thing to accept my baby won't have my DNA but I don't even think about it now. I follow IVF_Tribe on Instagram & she has used donor embryos to have her son. and as she says, they are still your baby. Love makes a family, not DNA. I wanted to be a mum, not pass on my genetics. Something I read once, about people with donor eggs in particular, is that it's your body, and your DNA that's turning an embryo into a human. So it's 3kg from your body, and a few grams from theirs. (I know that's not how genetics work, but thought it was a lovely way of feeling that this was the child you grew.) 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post marymaryquitecontrary Posted November 21, 2022 Author Popular Post Share Posted November 21, 2022 (edited) Update: my little girl was born 7 weeks early, she is in NICU but absolutely perfect. Breathing on her own and a good size, 2kg. She will be home in 5 weeks, in time for our first Christmas together. My first as a Mummy. I am so grateful to my friends for the opportunity to adopt their embryo and become a mother. She has already met her two special Aunties, her special Uncle and FaceTimed her 'diblings' (donor siblings). What a lucky girl to be surrounded by so many people who love her. What a lucky women I am to be her mother. I hope this is encouraging to those of you who have had endless failed cycles, embryo adoption is NOT for everyone but it is how my family was created. Edited November 21, 2022 by marymaryquitecontrary 10 3 8 40 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tinsel Posted November 21, 2022 Share Posted November 21, 2022 Congratulations @marymaryquitecontraryand welcome to your wee girl. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ozgirl Posted November 21, 2022 Share Posted November 21, 2022 Amazing! Thanks for coming back and updating us! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silverstreak Posted November 21, 2022 Share Posted November 21, 2022 What a delightful update, thanks for sharing! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BECZ Posted November 21, 2022 Share Posted November 21, 2022 I’m so happy for you! I’m sure that you’re going to be an amazing mum! How good is Christmas going to be!!! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prancer Posted November 21, 2022 Share Posted November 21, 2022 @marymaryquitecontrarycongratulations! I am so happy for you! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gemgirl Posted November 21, 2022 Share Posted November 21, 2022 Congratulations! Such wonderful news! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackcat20 Posted November 22, 2022 Share Posted November 22, 2022 Congratulations 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dusty Posted November 22, 2022 Share Posted November 22, 2022 @marymaryquitecontrary your post has roasted my marshmallows, congratulations to you! I’m a Donor Em mum too, science rocks!!! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
s_mdn v2.0 Posted November 22, 2022 Share Posted November 22, 2022 congratulations! And welcome to the world, little one! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post marymaryquitecontrary Posted November 22, 2022 Author Popular Post Share Posted November 22, 2022 Oh my goodness thank you so much for all your kind wishes. I really didn't expect anyone to even see my post. I'm in the NICU right now cuddling her as she sleeps and just tearing up that so many complete strangers care. Thank you. 1 8 11 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
little lion Posted November 22, 2022 Share Posted November 22, 2022 How fabulous. I hear nicu isn’t an easy journey emotionally, I found special care challenging. wishing you and your daughter all the best. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
onetrick Posted November 22, 2022 Share Posted November 22, 2022 Oh, brilliant! This is fabulous news! Enjoy the amazing newborn cuddles, and it sounds like she is absolutely perfect and was just too excited to be here. Congrats, mum Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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