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At the end of my journey with own eggs


marymaryquitecontrary

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I’m sorry to hear the difficulty of your journey.

My journey with my husband to parenthood has been rough too. I’m 40 in a couple of days, my husband is 41 and our journey has encompassed 10 IVF cycles (I think! I kind of lost count).

I have severe endo and it has affected my ability to generate mature eggs during an IVF cycle. I respond well to the drugs, but no eggs mature.

We were fortunate enough to go on the registry for egg donation back in 2016 and were able to go through a successful pregnancy (albeit early - 32 weeker) and again a second time for Miss 9 months.


In QLD, QFG has a donor registry that collates donor options - donor eggs, sperm, embryos etc.

not sure what state you’re in, but I would assume that most of the bigger clinic would either have similar or would be linked in to state program.


I can answer any questions if you’d like to know anything further. We went through an anonymous route, so we don’t know the donor. But under QLD law, our children are entitled to that information once they turn 18 should they wish to find out.

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  • 1 month later...
marymaryquitecontrary

Hello, an update. I was unsuccessful with my last embryo transfer.

I have decided to spend the next 2 years building up my nest egg and concentrating on my career and friends and family. In 2 years time I will consider embryo adoption from someone who has complete their family via IVF in Australia. This is to me more ethical than finding donors for embryos and sperm. I will also consider long term fostering. But maybe I will come to the end of the 2 years and decide I do not need to be a mother. That is my hope.


Perhaps it all didn’t work out for a reason for me. Maybe I was not meant to be a mother in this lifetime. And that is my journey.

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Im sorry.


But you sound like you have a good plan.


My clinic have some embryo's that might be donated. It was offered to me today.


I think I am trying one more EPU with my own eggs.

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marymaryquitecontrary

Im sorry.


But you sound like you have a good plan.


My clinic have some embryo's that might be donated. It was offered to me today.


I think I am trying one more EPU with my own eggs.

 

Yes there is always that ‘one more chance, one more cycle’ but I am exhausted and have decided that is enough. It is brave to keep going. Is it brave to admit defeat? Maybe.

That is amazing your clinic offered you some embryos. Can you accept them and still do another cycle? Or is donor embryos not something you’d consider?

I hope you’re doing embryo screening this time so no embryos are transferred that aren’t viable. I tell everyone whose doing IVF the same thing! Don’t do it to yourself.

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Im sorry.


But you sound like you have a good plan.


My clinic have some embryo's that might be donated. It was offered to me today.


I think I am trying one more EPU with my own eggs.

 

Yes there is always that ‘one more chance, one more cycle’ but I am exhausted and have decided that is enough. It is brave to keep going. Is it brave to admit defeat? Maybe.

That is amazing your clinic offered you some embryos. Can you accept them and still do another cycle? Or is donor embryos not something you’d consider?

I hope you’re doing embryo screening this time so no embryos are transferred that aren’t viable. I tell everyone whose doing IVF the same thing! Don’t do it to yourself.

 

I had the conversation with my embryologist and my FS this week. am I wasting my time/money.


Both said no. I get good embryo they just dont stick.


my FS was the one who offered the embryo's - but they are still sorting the consents etc. But if I cant get an embryo to stick. Is it worth it?


My history is in my sig.

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  • 1 year later...
marymaryquitecontrary

It's a hard thing to accept my baby won't have my DNA but I don't even think about it now. I follow IVF_Tribe on Instagram & she has used donor embryos to have her son. and as she says, they are still your baby. Love makes a family, not DNA. I wanted to be a mum, not pass on my genetics. 

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Congratulations, Mary! What a wonderful story ❤️ I'm so happy for you! Wishing you the best!

Edited by gemgirl
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Congratulations, @marymaryquitecontrary! I am so pleased for you. My best friend had her first baby earlier this year with a known donor egg and a sperm bank donor, after about 8 years of IVF. She had a little girl, too. It’s so strange, because even though it’s not technically biologically possible, she looks so much like my friend. So precious ❤️

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marymaryquitecontrary
4 hours ago, Lees75 said:

Congratulations, @marymaryquitecontrary! I am so pleased for you. My best friend had her first baby earlier this year with a known donor egg and a sperm bank donor, after about 8 years of IVF. She had a little girl, too. It’s so strange, because even though it’s not technically biologically possible, she looks so much like my friend. So precious ❤️

I love hearing that!! So happy for your friend 

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On 01/07/2022 at 7:25 PM, marymaryquitecontrary said:

It's a hard thing to accept my baby won't have my DNA but I don't even think about it now. I follow IVF_Tribe on Instagram & she has used donor embryos to have her son. and as she says, they are still your baby. Love makes a family, not DNA. I wanted to be a mum, not pass on my genetics. 

Something I read once, about people with donor eggs in particular, is that it's your body, and your DNA that's turning an embryo into a human.  So it's 3kg from your body, and a few grams from theirs.

(I know that's not how genetics work, but thought it was a lovely way of feeling that this was the child you grew.)

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  • 4 months later...

Oh, brilliant! This is fabulous news!

Enjoy the amazing newborn cuddles, and it sounds like she is absolutely perfect and was just too excited to be here.

Congrats, mum :)

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