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Starting daycare


MagdaRegis

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I could never do daycare drop off. For some reason DD just got all clingy and anxious. DH did it most of the time, but when he was away or I otherwise had to do it, the staff were great - kind but firm that mum had to go and that was okay.

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It does get better but as others said, drop off may not. It didn't for my DS but we got into a routine where I transferred him to the lap of a carer, quick cuddle/kiss, walk straight out. They then transitioned him into playing with toys. After every break we seemed to go a bit backwards but soon our little routine was working again. When big school started the full year of kindergarten he still needed a cuddle from the before school care carers. Thankfully they were ok with that! By year 1, he was ok with a transition cuddle from me and then to run off in the playground. Good luck! My advice is to work with the carers. It tears your heart out I know! I used to sneak in of an afternoon and watch him having a ball so that helped too.

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Just wait until they start crying when you go to pick them up!


One of mine hated when I dropped him off, the other was pretty relaxed most of the time. They both liked getting there earlier when it wasn't as busy, and when there was a carer ready to pick them up and help them settle. I used to do quick hug, tell them I loved them, tell them what I was going to make for dinner, then get help from a carer to prise them off my legs... the quicker the getaway, the better they took it.


There are some ages that are much worse for drop off anxiety. 12ish months, when many kids start, is really bad, with even kids who had been successfully attending for months suddenly starting to get upset. It usually does pass :)


My friend has a grade 4 who still can't handle being dropped off. The workaround they came up with was a friend would pick him up on the way to school/kinder, and he would leave mum rather than mum leaving him. Sometimes they'd even get a carer to fetch him from the car. If mum came into the centre, or past the gate, it was a disaster!

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It does. Then sometimes it goes backwards. My DD started at 6 months and was really good with being dropped off. Then we took 5 weeks off due to lockdown, and she went back at about 14months, and it was terrible. After a week she was fine again, I dont even get a good bye as she's too busy finding her friends. Last few weeks have been tricky. Mostly because her main teachers have been on leave and she had 1.5 weeks off over Xmas.

I hand her over and get out quick, even if she's screaming for me. She's fine after a minute or two, even if it breaks my heart.

Pick up is fun, as soon as she sees me she comes racing over and jumps on me all smiles.

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If it is drop off, as someone that has worked in daycare, after a few weeks 99% of kids are totally fine as soon as you walk out the door even if they're still very upset at goodbye. The hardest kids are 1 day a weekers, since they don't have much chance to build a good connection with the carers. You'll all get used to it xx

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Yes it gets easier. We're (finally) at the stage where I don't get a kiss, cuddle or barely a "bye mum!", it's straight into play! Quite offended really! But totally worth it to see their personal growth with separating. Give it time, be consistent.

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He cried on and off for the whole four hours that he was there. Fingers crossed tomorrow goes better!

 

🤗 first days are hard. Likely things will settle as he gets more familiar with everything and the carers get to know him.

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Spidey_Senses

DD2 and DS both cried at first on drop off, but I would go round the corner and peer in the window and they would be fine. And they would be fine when I picked them up. It took probably 2 weeks with DD and a month with DS. (both in 3 days a week and started around 18 months).

The carers should have some tips on how to help them adjust. And maybe they could have a favourite toy ready to distract your child in the first few minutes.

DD1 never cried at all, I think its just personality. But yes, it normally gets better. If it doesnt its worth changing something up to work out what will work.

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