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Toddler Twins - I need some sympathy!!


ClaudiaCosette

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ClaudiaCosette

My twins are 2.5 and they are driving me crazy. They are so clingy and want me to carry them/hug them all the time.


They both cry a lot more than I remember my older kids doing at this age, they fight with each other (pulling hair, pushing over etc). Mealtimes are a battle each time because one or both is never happy with what they have to eat, and they usually both want to sit on my lap while I'm trying to eat.


This is more just a whinge from me because I kind of know why - they have both more or less dropped their day sleep, they are going to sleep later at night and have been waking up at the crack of dawn in the morning, so they're overtired and cranky during the day. They've also been snotty more often than not lately so we are spending a lot of time at home, and they do get bored and unstimulated and I am not the best mum for sitting down and playing toddler games.


They are mostly okay when we do go out and okay when the big kids are home to play with them. And I have started leaving them with DH on the weekend so I can get some free time, and apparently they are perfect angels for him and even have a sleep. So it's just with me that they're cheeky.


I know it's just a phase and things will improve at some stage. But, terrible twos times two is HARD! Please send me some sympathy!

Edited by TeaCat
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Fruitmincepies

DS has just turned 3. There is one of him and it’s hard, so two would be basically impossible. This morning he was refusing to walk, and I was refusing to carry him, and it must have looked bizarre as he wrapped himself around my legs crying and I kept shuffling along.


To give you a bit of hope - my friend with 4yo twins is finding things a lot easier now than when they were 2.


So you have all my sympathy as you are doing something extraordinary and it’s basically impossible.

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Oh yes, Im hearing you. My twins are now teens (and a whole other kind of painful) but 18 months to three was the absolute hardest years for me, they DID NOT SLEEP and it very nearly broke me. I wish you well

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Like PP my twins are teens now but I still remember 18 months until about 2 1/2 being such a hard age. Mobile, fast and dangerous. Still had to do most things for them but they would not want the help. I have no solutions but sending you lots and lots of sympathy!


Good on you for getting DH to take over on the weekend for a bit- can he do bedtimes during the week too? My boys still interact with me and my ex differently - I understand it but I reckon mums get the tougher end of any emotions and upsets.


🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗

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ClaudiaCosette

Good on you for getting DH to take over on the weekend for a bit- can he do bedtimes during the week too? My boys still interact with me and my ex differently - I understand it but I reckon mums get the tougher end of any emotions and upsets.


🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗

 

He has started reading their books before bed, and when he's home he helps with their bath too (but they still sometimes want me). I haven't got him to actually settle them into bed for sleep because DD2 has a million toys and always wants a different one to hug, and he wouldn't know all their names and which one she wants. :D Bedtime is slowly getting easier but it's really my worst time of day - I am not a night person!

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Oh my goodness yes. You have all my sympathy. When I was looking back over my old posts pre-deletion there were a few about how frustrating they were. They are 13 now, and still frustrating but taller than me.


I think the worst part for us around that time was when they were having a 3 hour day sleep at their grandparents house so not going to sleep till around 11pm at night. There was literally no down time. I hope you don't have any issues like that!

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We have 15 month old twin girls living next door and they SHRIEK. I have never heard anything so loud, or so high pitched. I’m sure my boys weren’t that loud, or their eldest daughter. At least they sleep during the night, but it’s all day. Thank goodness I go to work.

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ClaudiaCosette

Oh my goodness yes. You have all my sympathy. When I was looking back over my old posts pre-deletion there were a few about how frustrating they were. They are 13 now, and still frustrating but taller than me.


I think the worst part for us around that time was when they were having a 3 hour day sleep at their grandparents house so not going to sleep till around 11pm at night. There was literally no down time. I hope you don't have any issues like that!

 

They have always been pretty good sleepers - both slept through the night at 6 months and up until recently they had a 2.5 hour day sleep. But they went through a regression, dropped the day sleep, resisted going to bed at night, and then were waking up multiple times during the night as well as up completely by 5am. Exhausting!!


We moved DD2 into a toddler bed as she was starting to climb out of her cot, and that was i the middle of the sleep issues so that didn't help as she suddenly had all this freedom! (DD3 is still in her cot as she's not mobile enough yet - she's the better sleeper at the moment). Things are slowly improving at night and the last few nights they've slept through again. But for me, by the time everyone is in bed and I've cleaned the kitchen and made lunches, it's 9pm and I'm ready for bed.


So I really miss the quiet time during the day when they used to sleep! And of course feel guilty because I let them watch tv so I can have a break (DD2 will watch it happily, DD3 not so much and she wants to come and sit with me).


Thank you all for your responses! This makes me feel much better.

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Oh man - that age is hard, especially when they start to drop their day sleep. I can remember putting them both in their pram, putting their favourite movie on or the wiggles after lunch just so I could have half hour to breathe

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I'm not sure if I should have opened this thread... I'm nearly 24w with a boy and a girl 😂🙈

 

Oh don't be scared, twins are also a huge amount of fun.


My boys started sleeping through at 8 weeks - I remember because I had been joking with my Mum since their birth that I wanted a full nights sleep in a motel for my birthday and the night before and the night of they both had their first full night of sleep. The first year was a dream, I was lucky enough to get the babies people dream of - they didn't cry, they didn't get wind pain, no nappy rash, they didn't need rocking to sleep. They were happy little chappies until a serious illness in the family meant increased travelling and I struggled to keep our routines and that is the sole reason things went crappy for us.


So my one big piece of advice as a twin mum is start out how you want things to be and stick to it.


For example - I knew what bedtime routine I wanted and I started to implement it from Day 1 at home...we are all going to have different priorities and needs, just gotta stick with what works for you

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Haha thanks, I'm not really stressing that much, it was IVF (as have been all of my pregnancies) and this time we chose to transfer two. So we did know what we were getting ourselves into! Although when I get up for the toilet during the night sometimes I just think 'what have we done?!' 😂


DDs will be 7.5 and nearly 5, and they have been pretty easy, so hopefully their brother and sister will be the same! If not, I definitely have a different perspective than I would have had previously, as our little boy who was born (healthy) two years ago never got to come home. So I will be so grateful for these miracles 🥰

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ClaudiaCosette

Haha thanks, I'm not really stressing that much, it was IVF (as have been all of my pregnancies) and this time we chose to transfer two. So we did know what we were getting ourselves into! Although when I get up for the toilet during the night sometimes I just think 'what have we done?!' 😂


DDs will be 7.5 and nearly 5, and they have been pretty easy, so hopefully their brother and sister will be the same! If not, I definitely have a different perspective than I would have had previously, as our little boy who was born (healthy) two years ago never got to come home. So I will be so grateful for these miracles 🥰

 

Yes, I agree it's not all bad. I love seeing my girls interact with each other, and there are definitely some advantages to having them on the same schedules (as opposed to having, say, a toddler and a newborn at the same time, which I have also had!). At least I know that when this two year stage is over, that's it for both of them.


We get a lot of extra attention too, having twins, when we go out (this is good or bad depending on how I feel that day ...)


I'm so sorry to hear about your little boy. It sounds like you have had a difficult journey and I will be thinking of you and your family as you welcome your two new additions. 🥰

Edited by TeaCat
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Thank-you [mention]Leweljocat[/mention]! I'm sure I'll be on here looking for some advice and/or solidarity 😊 The girls are very excited, I think they will make good helpers.

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