Jump to content
IGNORED

Public toilet anxiety


Daffy2016

Recommended Posts

DD 3 yo is in the process of toilet training and refuses to use any public toilets. She’ll use the ones at daycare with a lot of encouragement but won’t even go into a public bathroom. I’ve tried patience, bribery and losing my temper (my mother of the year award is in the mail, I’m sure).


At the moment, we can’t really go out apart from short trips. I’m not keen to take a potty with us due to my sensitive gag reflex!


Any tips please?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Replies 16
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

  • LemonMyrtle

    2

  • Paddlepop

    2

  • Fruitmincepies

    2

  • Daffy2016

    2

Top Posters In This Topic

I have not gone through this so it may be only a suggestion but could you promise to buy a small toy after she uses it, yes I admit I am asking can she be bribed after she goes not before.


'How about after we use the toilet we can go buy x'


I know you mentioned bribery but can you change the way you bribe?


It makes sense in my head!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Fruitmincepies

DD is 6yo and still prefers it if we can go to the parents room where there is the little toilet, although she’s pretty good at going to regular public toilets now. 3yo DS just holds on and on and on. The other night we were out and he really needed to go, I took him into the toilets and he ran out immediately. Luckily because of where we were he was able to just wee on a tree instead.


Does your DD go with you if you need to use the toilet? That is, is she refusing to go in to the toilets altogether or just refusing to use one herself?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest Alias Grace

Do you use a toilet seat insert at home? If so,,could it be the size of the public toilet seat that is causing some anxiety? My DD wasn’t comfortable with using full size toilet seats without an insert until almost 4.


If she’s still in the process of TT and only using the daycare toilets with a lot of encouragement, I’d probably stick to nappies for outings for a little while longer until she builds up some more confidence.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Do you have anxiety around using public toilets? If you do she might be picking up on that.

Is it the noisy bloody hand dryers? They're inventions of the devil for young children using a public toilet.

If she's worried about falling in you could hold her around her waist while she goes so she feels safe. I had to do that for DD for a while. Alternatively if there's an ambulant toilet with grab bars use that. She can hang on to the grab bars to help support herself.

Parent and child toilet? Use that if she needs a little toilet to feel more comfortable. Bonus is you can pee at the same time.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

[mention]Fruitmincepies[/mention] she won’t go into the toilets at all, even for me. She will go into the parents rooms but they’re few and far between around here, unfortunately.


[mention]Alias Grace[/mention] we do use an insert at home and it is the size that bothers her. I’ve promised her I’ll hold her and make sure she’s safe but no go. I’m very reluctant to put her in nappies as it’s been a very rocky road with training and we’ve had to be very black and white to get this far.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Get another toilet seat insert ($5-$10?), shove it in a big bag like a beach bag, and problem solved. Maybe take some bleach wipes to clean it after use before you put it back in your bag.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Get another toilet seat insert ($5-$10?), shove it in a big bag like a beach bag, and problem solved. Maybe take some bleach wipes to clean it after use before you put it back in your bag.

 

Yep, we took a toilet seat insert with us on an international holiday when DD was 3!! Parenthood is so glamorous...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Fruitmincepies

We have a travel potty that uses bags (environmentally terrible, but DD was really hard to TT fully - when she needed to go she needed to go immediately, so it was in the back of my car forever). Could you have something like that in the car that she could use if needed?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Get another toilet seat insert ($5-$10?), shove it in a big bag like a beach bag, and problem solved. Maybe take some bleach wipes to clean it after use before you put it back in your bag.

 

This is what we did. I’d just throw the toilet seat thing under the pram, or in the boot of the car, and take it with us everywhere.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

We have a travel potty that uses bags (environmentally terrible, but DD was really hard to TT fully - when she needed to go she needed to go immediately, so it was in the back of my car forever). Could you have something like that in the car that she could use if needed?

I had one of these many many years ago. I had a couple who did not like public toilets, especially if we were on the road travelling so we had a blow up potty that had disposable inserts and always had a roll of big garbage bags to put them in. They were emptied into toilets when we reached our destination. Sounds gross but it is not too much different to carrying soiled nappies.


It was such a short time in their lives I tried to not worry that it was the wrong thing to do.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Also, try sitting her on sideways or even backwards, so she can hold onto something. The seat is narrower sideways too. Although a toddler hugging a toilet cistern isn’t the most hygienic thing, it’s better than wet pants.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...
Jersey Caramel

 

Yes we had one of these... we only needed it for a few weeks from memory but it was definitely worth it if we knew we would be out for a while.


I also agree that the hand dryers are terrifying for them so I had to promise not to use them and also just hope that noone else did while we were in there.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Spidey_Senses

What about taking a portable kids toilet seat? ( ETA- PP has linked what I mean)


There may be something she is scared of and if you narrow it down to find out what it could help. I think its a common thing in that age. I remember a friends DD was scared of the blue loo things.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The first thing I'd do is try to figure out what the source of anxiety actually is.


My DS1 was like this with public toilets for a short time (also at age 3). He was able to tell me that he didn't like the sound of the hand dryers (noise sensitivity for such a LOUD child was a surprise to me), and he also got worried about how dirty some toilets appeared to be.


We were then able to talk about those things and come up with plans to overcome them. For the hair dryers, I'd go in ahead of him and call out to him to come in with his ears covered once I'd seen no one was using the dryer. We'd choose the toilet furthest from the dryers if possible and I'd tell him to cover his ears or hold his hand if someone did need to use the dryer - as well as give him warning it was coming.


With cleanliness (which was also surprising as I am not at all over the top about cleaning) - I'd let him choose which toilet he wanted to use (i.e. not make him use one he thought was yuck even if if was fine), or sometimes we'd be able to lay paper on the seat, or I'd tell him to close his eyes and I'd lift him onto the seat so he didn't have to see the offending toilet.


I even offered a nappy, rather than risk an accident (but he'd always decline).


Or your kid will just get really good at holding on until they feel better about going in a public toilet.


Good luck! In my experience it does pass.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yes, I was going to suggest the foldable insert too. I haven’t ever owned one, so can’t comment on them, but had seen them many times at the baby stores, but I wasn’t sure if they were still available.

I’d try that to start with, even though it sounds like there are other factors going on, it cancels out one of them.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Advertisement

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


×
×
  • Create New...