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Sleepovers and night nappies


Fruitmincepies

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Fruitmincepies

DD is 6yo and still needs night nappies - they are usually pretty full in the morning. She is deeply embarrassed about this, and while she understands that her brain isn’t making the right chemical yet (how I’ve explained it too her), she really really wants to no longer need nappies.


And she really really wants to have a sleepover with her new friend, but is too embarrassed about the nappy situation. I’ve promised her we will see the GP and start the process of getting an alarm etc.


But in the meantime, if we host the sleepover, do you think we could manage it so that DD could hide the night nappy? Has anyone done that? It’s pretty obvious in the morning because it’s so full.


Also I’m dreading doing the whole alarm thing. DS (3yo) still occasionally wakes at night and I struggle the day after a broken night’s sleep (thanks to chronic illness). I really don’t want weeks of broken sleep. DD is a very heavy sleeper, so I imagine it will take a while for her to get the hang of waking up to the alarm. And while she decided to toilet train at 2.5yo, she continued to have accidents for years - so I’m presuming that it may be similar for night dryness. Which would be exhausting.

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She could slip off the nappy under the sheets, and pop on some undies left on the bedside table? The nappy could then be collected when the kids go out for breakfast.

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I already feel horribly socially awkward with the mum - she’s a ‘beautiful Instagram life’ type...

 

Oh. :(


I wonder if I’d say that 6 is a bit young for friend sleepovers. DD would be in no way ready for one.

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We have barely had day time play dates with DS’s school Friends (thanks covid). I can’t imagine having one of his friends stay the night, we barely know them.

I think saying no to a sleepover is fine. Just organise some play dates until she is older.

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ClaudiaCosette

I agree that if a sleepover will be problematic, there's no need to go down that road yet. My kids haven't yet had a sleepover with friends and they're older than your DD.

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Could you offer to have the friend for a sleepover at your house?

We deal with night nappies at scout events sometimes. It happens. It is very hard to have the child be responsible for it and try to keep it secret. Better to have the adult support. I wouldn't ask your dd to be in that situation. What if it leaked? What if she didn't have somewhere to change? What if she left it in the sheets and forgot to take it? It's a hard situation for a 6yo to manage alone.

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Fruitmincepies

I’ve definitely been going with the ‘sleepovers are for when you are a bit older’ line, but she is so keen! We had one about a year ago where DD was so badly behaved the next morning that I refused to do that again (other kid has known DD forever and so DD was ok with the night nappy thing).


I suppose I’m thinking that if we could handle the night nappy thing (at our house at least), then DD would be less desperate to do the alarm. I’ve been really hoping the right hormone starts being secreted soon...

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It could be two more years though. What does she actually want from the sleepover? Theoretically they'd be asleep for most of it.. is it the dinner bit? movies?

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So just another side my DD9 still has night undies, we have been trying alarms and tablets for 3 years. We have had some break throughs but then goes back to the heavy sleeping.

We have done two camps and many sleep overs. We have a special bag (waterproof) that DD takes the night undies in and the goes into the bathroom and changes before bed and then usually wakes early, and repeats with night undies back into the back and brings it hone. Her friends are aware, but understand she can't help it. No parent has rejected a sleep over, and are usually understanding.

Its really hard, we have tried so hard. So if she missed out on the fun because of something she can't help, it would be devastating.

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Could you possibly do a backyard campout a, 2 tents set up facing each other? One kid with parent per tent. Then she has some privacy in the morning to get out of the night nappy. Plus tents! Extra fun!

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Fruitmincepies

Could you possibly do a backyard campout a, 2 tents set up facing each other? One kid with parent per tent. Then she has some privacy in the morning to get out of the night nappy. Plus tents! Extra fun!

 

Nooooooo!!!! We would have to have 3 tents, one for DS too. We have 0 tents.

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Could you possibly do a backyard campout a, 2 tents set up facing each other? One kid with parent per tent. Then she has some privacy in the morning to get out of the night nappy. Plus tents! Extra fun!

 

Nooooooo!!!! We would have to have 3 tents, one for DS too. We have 0 tents.

 

Bahahaha. But it would be so much fun!!!

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If I was hosting, I would set an alarm( for me) and wake DD up well before I predicted the others to wake up. I would get her to change her night nappy to a clean one and hopefully, even if she does use the new nappy, it wouldn’t be as full and obvious when everybody woke up later on.


Do you know what time she usually goes. Obviously my plan would not work if she usually only went just before she wakes up.

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Can she have a sleepover with a close friend or cousin?


DS6 still has "special jocks". His is full in the morning too. He's a long way off being night trained. I remember carrying my 8/9yr olds to the loo around 10/11pm to get them to wee before putting them back to bed. No one remembered me doing it as they slept so soundly. It was the only way they stayed dry overnight.

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My grade 4 DS has hated his night nappy since 5 or 6. He’s 9 and the alarm is not cutting through his deep deep sleep yet and we’ve been going with the bell and pad since Xmas. It wakes him enough to get up but he remembers nothing in the morning. We tried a wearable alarm last year for three or four months,


He has been having sleep overs with family and friends for several years, plus school sleepover in prep and grade 1 and camp in grade 2 - he manages it all himself. With his agreement I did tell his teacher in prep so she could help him if need be. He just does what a PP noted - he goes to the bathroom to get changed before bed and in the morning and e takes his loose fitting PJs.


To the best of my knowledge none of his friends have ever realised. I’ve only told one parent and that is the one I am friends with separately as we were discussing the issue - her now year 8 DD had a night nappy till at least grade 4. For our family and other friends I have just mentioned that he is very private and won’t get changed in front of anyone (also true) which ensures he can have a bedroom or bathroom to himself to get ready for bed and get dressed in the morning.


This doesn’t help you but when his dad would send the two kids for sleepovers at their grandparents, uncles or aunts he’d send him with a regular nappy not a pull up and DD would put it on - she was 6/7, he was 4/5. DS started taking a pull up from my place if he new a sleepover was coming and eventually his dad started buying them anyway.

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What about a faux sleepover? It's what I did with my DD at that age. You have the friend come over in pyjamas, set up sleeping bags, have dinner, junk food and other sleepover activities and then the other child gets picked up at 9ish to go home and sleep.

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6 is very much on the young side for sleepovers with friends. For me, it was more a safety thing at that age, and I didn't want other kids staying at our house when I would be refusing her sleeping over at theirs.


At 8, I'm still saying no but these days its mostly because she shares a room with her younger sister and she will be a brat about it.

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[mention]Murderino[/mention] My DS9 is the same. We are just about to start the alarm again but I have very low expectations.


I agree that 6 is too young for a non-family sleepover. Ds just had his first however he was able to manage his pull up himself by changing in the bathroom & slipping it straight in his bag.


He is concerned about camp which is in 3 weeks though.

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[mention]Crombek[/mention] DD went on camp 2 years ago (in yr 3) so around the same ages as your DS and there were a few kids still in pull ups at night, one was still having accidents during the day as well.


My friend(who's boy had the accidents) gave the teachers a heads up, and his male teacher smuggled an extra case of spare clothes and undies onto his 4x4 which he drove there with the extra stuff they needed for the camp.

He got changed in the teacher's cabin (ALONE!!) if needed and no one was the wiser. I doubt he'll be the only one in the same boat.

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