Questionable reasons for staying home from school

So the short version of this rambling essay is, how do I decide to keep DD home or send to school? Clear cut illness (vomiting, fever etc) is easy, what about when you think they are putting it on a bit?

DD hurt her foot on Saturday, we put an ice pack on and all seemed fine. She ran around the beach at nippers yesterday, played with her brother (including running around with water pistols), and then complained last night that it was itchy and painful from a couple of mosquito bites. I noticed that it looked a bit darker coloured/almost bruised and was a bit swollen. I put some eczema cream on to reduce the itch, but it didn’t work, so gave oral antihistamine and told her to go to sleep (which she did, and slept a good 10.5 hours uninterrupted).

This morning it’s still looking swollen and a bit bruised, and she’s claiming she can’t walk on it (but has done so) and can’t possibly go to school. I’ve booked her in to the GP (first available appointment at 12) and put another ice pack on.

She’s a fairly stoic kid when it comes to pain, but it seems a bit put on with the walking. Right now she is sitting and playing fine. Should I have sent her to school and got her again for the appointment? Should I be more hard about these things? She’s in year 2 and they missed the first week to lockdown, and she’s had one day off with a mild cold. She’s behind in English but doing ok academically otherwise, but I’m concerned about her missing school.

Just my first thoughts if it was my son

In primary he was in one main class so I would have sent him with a note to mention that he won't be doing PE etc. but he would have been going

In high school he might not be be going as he would have to walk around a lot to different classes

Honestly with my kids? I send them, and then contact the school and say, look X is feeling a bit sick/sore etc. If he is feeling worse, just contact me and I'll come and get him. I'm a bit of a hard case with this sort of stuff though. The kids also know that being home from school means stuck in bed/their room and no screens/TV etc. because sick means sick/hurt mean it hurts and that means they need to rest. They also only get 1 day per a term where they are allowed to "chuck a sickie" for whatever reason/anxiety etc.

There’s 2 different questions here.

In year 2, don’t stress missing single days of school. I did with mine and look back now thinking I wish I had of chilled out a bit!

Kids can have injuries that are no massively evident. We’ve had about 6 broken bones here, and only 1 involved tears. IME kids with sensory differences and/or adhd can experience/report pain differently.

Have her checked out and the day off. Relax, but don’t have too much fun!!

I think it's fine, as long as it's not becoming a habit. Maybe she's bunging it on a bit, but maybe she also needs a day. Everyone needs a day sometimes. A few days of missed school here and there really isn't going to set most kids back at all.

This doesn't sound like your situation right now, but i also remember being in grade 5 and 6 and going to the nurse regularly because my tummy hurt. What I didn't realize at the time because i was a kid but I wish mum had was that my tummy was hurting because I was depressed and anxious, I didn't want to be at school because I was excluded by all the kids and when they didn't ignore me they picked on me. I hated being there. But, I assume mum thought I was fine and just didn't want to go to school/ come home early etc and never did anything to help. So I guess I'd also be aware of stuff like that if it did seem to become a habit

I was the same Kallie, my stomach aches were anxiety related. My mum assumed I had her lactose intolerance!

My aunt has pointed out (we had to cancel DS and I visiting her) that it sounds like when my mum had a spider bite. And it does actually look a lot like that.

I’m planning on getting all her maths homework for the week done, trading each day (about 5 minutes work) for 30 minutes of iPad use. If she wants more she can read to me *evil laugh*

At our school, you do move around quite a bit during the day, so I would keep her home.

Get some arnica/hurouid cream for the bruising.

I would have a look at some of the speld readers and have her read to you. Plus maybe some reading eggs or whichever software your school uses. But I would do that whether she’s behind or not, just to make it clear it’s not a holiday. Hopefully that way she won’t put it on.

Yes, I think it really depends on your kids. I know mine can ham it up a bit and one kid will use it to avoid everything possible. (i.e. he didn't want to go today because they have swimming and he doesn't want to miss out on spelling and hates swimming).

I allowed my daughter one day a term to stay home with 'not a good reason'. It just so happened that she rarely missed school, so wasn't a big deal in that regard. I'd suss out if it was to miss something I thought she should be doing though. Swimming lessons at school were not-negotiable, but the once-a-year carnival, that she hated with a passion, she was allowed to skip.

I honestly can't remember, but if I thought she was ok. for school I'd ask her if she wanted it to be her 'free' day (again, provided it wasn't because something she didn't like, but was essential, was on).

We adults think the occasional mental health day is o.k., I feel the same about kids, although obviously with me working from a home base nine months of the year, it was a different matter compared with someone who had to take the day off work myself. She wasn't permitted to spring 'mental health' days on me if I had a commitment.

ETA: I should add, she generally didn't take it up, and they didn't compound, so I knew when she asked for a day off, it wasn't just to skive off. If she'd asked for the first day of each term off, the system wouldn't have worked.

Yes, I think it really depends on your kids. I know mine can ham it up a bit and one kid will use it to avoid everything possible. (i.e. he didn't want to go today because they have swimming and he doesn't want to miss out on spelling and hates swimming).

When she stayed home for a day the other week, the next day she was begging to go to school the next day. She’s been happy going so far this year and doesn’t like to miss seeing her friends. And she was excited about going last night as years 3-6 won’t be there (swimming carnival) so the year 2s were going to be the big kids

I tend to send mine. I send a strong message that school is compulsory and they have to go and I have to send them. I did have one having some school refusal issues many years ago and I think my strong stance helped. I would also send them If I was not sure re their health, but this has changed with colds and COVID. For a sore foot I would be inclined to just let the teacher know they can’t do PE or anything active.

I am uncharacteristically taking them off school for no reason next week, and the world certainly does not end if they miss a day. I remember once going to all this effort of sending them rather than start our holiday earlier and they all ended up with relief teachers! Would have been better off with that early start to the holiday.

I have kept mine home on occasion only for them to miraculously recover a couple of hours later

In saying that, I don’t think the odd day off, especially in primary school, is a big deal.

I only take sick leave if I really need to so am trying to instill the same attitude in my children,

Depends on the kid.

In primary school neither of mine were interested in chucking sickies so if they wanted to stay home I let them. If they'd been prone to faking it it would have been different.

From your description, I'd have kept the child home.

We will be letting DS have a few hours off when we go away for a long weekend soon and we have done this for long weekend/out of term holidays before but of the 30 or so days we could have let him have off due to 'we are not sure whether he should go or not' only one time we got a phone call so he would automatically stay home if really sick/contagious etc. but the default is go and see what happens

I think a swollen and bruised foot is an ok reason to stay home resting for one day, though I'd probably be questioning it after the running around too. I know a few "we didn't realise it was a broken arm for two weeks" stories so I'm probably too cautious hahaha. The are they/aren't they sick - I've been had on the odd occasion by the youngest I'm sure. Covid has made it harder in some respects, to maintain the hard line stance - especially if you've got a child who has hay fever and school is cautious. It's evened out a little though, as covid = short learn from home period has also meant they pretty much never want a day off now because they missed it when it was gone.

Just for conversation's sake....

I've always done a semi-regular "day off just because" with mine, usually offered by me when they just seem out of sorts. A day off every now and then to relax, see a movie and hang with each other has been worth missing school. They don't seem to miss out on much, but I have tried to teach them you always have to check in with teacher when you get back, in case there's essential work they have missed.

Yes, I think it really depends on your kids. I know mine can ham it up a bit and one kid will use it to avoid everything possible. (i.e. he didn't want to go today because they have swimming and he doesn't want to miss out on spelling and hates swimming).

 

When she stayed home for a day the other week, the next day she was begging to go to school the next day. She’s been happy going so far this year and doesn’t like to miss seeing her friends. And she was excited about going last night as years 3-6 won’t be there (swimming carnival) so the year 2s were going to be the big kids

With this info I would say keep home.

Bones are tricky. Remember my two ankles. The foot that needed pins was bothering me less than the more minor injury.

She could have had a small crack that got worst with the extra running around.

Also note that if today’s X-rays are clear but it still bothering in a week repeat X-rays are warranted.

If DD is in pain enough to request staying home, I let her stay home (with a trip to the GP to be checked out).

I personally have no issue with the occasional rest day. It’s important to listen to your body and take care of yourself when you need it.

I’d have kept my kids home for that but I’m a bit of a soft touch. My son often magically recovers after a few hours too. He’s getting older now (9 yo) so I’m being a bit tougher on him. He’s prone to stomach aches which are bad at breakfast time and gone by lunch. I send him to school when he gets these.

Right well it’s either infection, or a spider bite, or possibly juvenile arthritis (significant family history unfortunately). So antibiotics, compression, ice packs, and staying off the foot - no school for another two days. And if her (currently minor) fever gets high, off to ED!

Staying home was a good call...

Right well it’s either infection, or a spider bite, or possibly juvenile arthritis (significant family history unfortunately). So antibiotics, compression, ice packs, and staying off the foot - no school for another two days. And if her (currently minor) fever gets high, off to ED!

Staying home was a good call...

Gosh, fx it's not arthritis.

Right well it’s either infection, or a spider bite, or possibly juvenile arthritis (significant family history unfortunately). So antibiotics, compression, ice packs, and staying off the foot - no school for another two days. And if her (currently minor) fever gets high, off to ED!

Staying home was a good call...

Keep and eye on it and if it gets really really itchy and starts weeping badly go straight to A&E (well doctors if open) speaking from experience

Thanks for the update, though bit of a worry for you. Hope it's not arthritis, poor chicken.