‘Average’ 3.5 yo skills

She sounds a lot like my NT kids at 3. One in particular. She’s a bit ahead with language and a bit behind with toilet training (but not worryingly so). Big emotions and tantrums are a very normal part of being 3.

That being said, my other kid at 3 I had concerns about but was hard to articulate and hard to tell if she was sitting at the extreme end of normal or there was something there. She’s now 4.5 and we are getting a bit of traction and assessments/treatment for some issues.

So I would listen to your gut, but also it might be a case of watching and waiting to see what happens as she approaches 4 (2/3 of mine calmed down considerably, the one I was always a bit worried about did not).