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Tweenager support thread..


riotproof

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Finding tweens difficult seems to not be talked about as much as the other stages. When they are babies/toddlers/preschoolers you can easily image them moving on from their current challenges as they grow but with late primary/early high kids there is a real fear that this is going to be them as teenagers and it may not ease for a long time.


I couldn’t imagine confessing IRL that I count down in my head how long until my oldest is an adult. He’s nearly 11 so a huge whack of his childhood is still to come. I need to find ways to be more positive about it.

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Seayork2002

@Phillipa Crawford I've been saying for a while now the 12yr old is rather like a giant puppy version of the 3yr old he was...

 

I am to find anything ds13 does that is not puppy like

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[mention]Seayork2002[/mention] my kiddo is definitely in the not used to a body that is growing fast impacting spatial awareness stage...

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RynandStompy

DD is 10.5 and gosh the moods are suddenly volatile. She's a great kid a lot of the time, but when she's not...


A friend of mine just started reading Ten Ager and recommended I check it out. Has anyone read that or the author's other books? I find I have stages of buying parenting books with great intentions, then they gather dust on my bedside table.

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ImperatorFuriosa

DS11 has turned in to a grumpy ass in the last year. I have to remind him to put on his roll on deo. :sick: How can one kid smell so much? :roll: :lol: He is autistic, so even when he is narky according to him he isn't narky! :ninja: It's a tad frustrating. Meanwhile he starts talking about his bodily hair growth on his groin and how he hates it while we are at a Woolies checkout. :ninja:


My sweet boy is in there and he still wants me to wait outside the high school for him, (he's in year 7), and walk with him to the car. He slips his hand in to mine and I feel at one with the world.

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Seayork2002

DS11 has turned in to a grumpy ass in the last year. I have to remind him to put on his roll on deo. :sick: How can one kid smell so much? :roll: :lol: He is autistic, so even when he is narky according to him he isn't narky! :ninja: It's a tad frustrating. Meanwhile he starts talking about his bodily hair growth on his groin and how he hates it while we are at a Woolies checkout. :ninja:


My sweet boy is in there and he still wants me to wait outside the high school for him, (he's in year 7), and walk with him to the car. He slips his hand in to mine and I feel at one with the world.

 

Yeah ds last year in year 7 i was made to walk him to the bus stop this year I may get a wave but I am not allowed too close and only to the lights.


This is still 'baby' times but not when his friends are around that is for sure

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DD is nearly 11 and so far there's been no snark, no moods, no tears, nothing.

I'm scared.

It's like waiting for the shoe to drop..when will it kick in??

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Seayork2002

DD is nearly 11 and so far there's been no snark, no moods, no tears, nothing.

I'm scared.

It's like waiting for the shoe to drop..when will it kick in??

 

We get sarcasm a little bit but although I joke about DS13 he is pretty good, not sure if this is the fact I hold the passwords and credit card for his gaming purchases lol!


Oh he has his moments but not a pattern/consistent type thing

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Oh we have sarcasm. I love it because I'm sarcastic (she's learned from me, bless) but that's it so far really.

But I wasn't too bad as a teen so I'm hoping she'll be like me. DH is the most laid back guy ever so MAYBE we'll be ok *crosses fingers*.

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DD is nearly 11 and so far there's been no snark, no moods, no tears, nothing.

I'm scared.

It's like waiting for the shoe to drop..when will it kick in??

 

Puberty is different for everyone, right? I know I got my period at around 11? Pretty sure I was in year 6.

Ds has a face full of pimples and hair in new places. He even has a mo. Plus his voice is deeper.

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VeritasVinumArte

[mention]riotproof[/mention] I have the dermatologist appointment for Ds2 (year 8) next week. Although his face (generally) isn’t too bad, his back and chest are horrid and causing pain/infection and scarring.

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VeritasVinumArte

Dermatologist appointment went well. Of course DS2sskin was clear of the horrid cystic acne he gets, but I have been taking photos of some of the bad ones the past few months and he has billions of horrid blackheads all over his chest/back. Dermatologist acknowledged that with those type of blackheads it is only a matter of time before they all become horrid cystic acne, combined with family history (older brother at 15 is on 2nd round of Roaccutane after first at 12 his acne was so bad, plus myself and siblings had horrid acne - my sister has horrid scarring) he is giving DS2 the roaccutaine now rather than trying any further treatments good news though is the horrid scalp issues DS2 has (have seen dermatologist previously for this with DS2) should also clear up on roaccutaine.

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DD is nearly 11 and so far there's been no snark, no moods, no tears, nothing.

I'm scared.

It's like waiting for the shoe to drop..when will it kick in??

 

DS is 13, still pretty sweet most of the time. He has his challenges but mostly directed at himself. He’s not mean to us. Mind you the only real sign of puberty is getting taller. He still has his sweet soft baby face.


DD is 14 going on 15. She’s had her period for over two years and she’s never really been too challenging. No yelling or door slamming or swearing at us. Lots of my friends have had “easy” teens, they just don’t get talked about as much.

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My 12 year old is ok so far, she's not a moody kid but I do have to coax her out of her bedroom sometimes or I wont see her for an entire day LOL.


DD2 who is 10 is a moody little fucker and I'm sure its only going to get worse in the coming years! She sure makes up for her big sister's good nature :)

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  • 3 weeks later...
Spidey_Senses

My 10yo seems to go through stages, grow out of them, and then revert.

For example she went through a patch of telling me how to parent my toddler. We spoke about how I am willing to listen to her suggestions and take them on board, but some things are non negotiable and she needs to accept that as I am the adult in this situation.

She stopped doing it for a few months, but now she seems to be doing it again.

Shes very much the type to question things and want to do things her own way. Her sister I can see different issues will come up .

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We’ve been enjoying these holidays, but I will be happy when the showering in the morning option is gone.


Ds is arguing with me that he had a shower last night. I’m pretty sure he didn’t. Also pretty sure he didn’t yesterday morning and even so he’d be due one now.

So I have just pulled the “it doesn’t matter when you had one, it won’t kill you” card.


Ffs. I sound like my mother.

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Seayork2002

We’ve been enjoying these holidays, but I will be happy when the showering in the morning option is gone.


Ds is arguing with me that he had a shower last night. I’m pretty sure he didn’t. Also pretty sure he didn’t yesterday morning and even so he’d be due one now.

So I have just pulled the “it doesn’t matter when you had one, it won’t kill you” card.


Ffs. I sound like my mother.

 

This is why DS has to quick showers morning and night, not because he wants to be clean I think he is just sick of my 'mummy voice' so does it to shut me up


But why do they always find something to argue about?

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What do your kids this age do over the school holidays? My 12 year old daughter is very bored. She is in Y7, and has had one catch up with the boys she's made friends with since starting school at the shops, and that's about it. Shes asked one of the girls she's made friends with to catch up, but they weren't allowed as their mum was working. We don't have any kids in the neighbourhood type friends, She typically would do music or drama workshops, but wanted a break this hols.

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Seayork2002

DS13 either goes to my mum or dads or has a scout thing, the last couple of holidays we are allowing him to have some time home alone, he has friends he talks online too so as long as it only these friends he is allowed


We try and go away for a few days over the holidays but we both work FT although since March or so last year (NSW lockdown basically) DH has been working from home way more than me so is around although DS drives him up the wall if he is trying to work at the same time


Ds is too lazy lol to get into any genuine trouble just whinges

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Screens, too much screens.

Though we've done a BIG clean out of her room this break. Bags of books she's too old for, similar bags of cloths she's too big for. All packed ready for donation(if Dh gets off his arse to help me pack the damn car) so that broke the screens up a bit, lol.

We've gone out shopping for new winter clothes once or twice too, and Dh is home this week so he took her bowling and to his sisters to see her 2 kids.

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Screens, more screens. Binge watch something on netflix or Disney. I forced them to clean and re-organise their room today. (I'm working, DH is at home). Um they do a bit of swimming maybe. I ran into the 12yr old's best friend and his mum at the supermarket so they have a playdate organised tomorrow. Oh they went fishing. Once. Help feel the neighbors Geese and ducks as they are away.


Whinge. They have spent and inordinate amount of time whining.


As of Tuesday morning devices will be locked away for school days and back to weekends only and only then if homework has been completed. So I guess they are taking advantage of it.


Oh and on the shower things, I practically had to pin my 12 yr old to the door to get him to wash yesterday. 3 days in the same clothes. I am not impressed or happy. especially as I always seem to be washing loads and loads of kids clothes.

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Bit off topic, sorry Maya, you just reminded me. Best and less seem to have some not terrible clothes in their older boys section. Ds got two gaming related shirts today.

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[mention]riotproof[/mention] best and less is my go to shop of the measly two options we have here now. They have some not too bad stuff there. Their stuff improved when they got bought out a whole back. Kmart has very very little in the older boys section.

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Yep. The trackies are quite comfortable too I’m told. Kmart is all about little boys, and big girls. Their small girls stuff is really hard to find something in.

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[mention]riotproof[/mention] the best and less girl stuff isn't too bad either. Though sometimes you have to sort through it a bit to find the gems. Lots of neutral sort of stuff in our local shop. As well as actually suitable clothes for little girls (and big girls as my nieces are in the big girl sizes but the younger is a very young 7 (but size 10-12 because she is as tall as my youngest and stockier then him but then most kids are) but the big kid stuff is still more younger kid vibe).

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