BeAwesome Posted April 9, 2021 Share Posted April 9, 2021 I have 2 DDs 13 and 9. DD13 (Yr 7) hasn't been particularly interested in screen-based activities. She'll occasionally watch art or meme videos, but isn't particularly enthralled by social media. DD9 (Yr 4) has ADHD and obsessive about getting screen time. She currently has a limit of 1 hr a day on weekdays, and 2 hrs on weekends, and is getting to the point of generally being agreeable about these times. Most of her school friends are now on FB Messenger kids, and she regularly has friends message / video call her. I know and like the majority of these kids, as the ones she hung out with last year were a bit of a toxic group, and this year she's thankfully distanced herself from them.We don't have much planned for the school holidays, so I've let her have considerably more access to the iPad so she can socialise online with her friends, They either chat, send snapchat type pictures, or voice chat while playing Roblox. I feel like seeing she's actually engaging with others, it's not quite as bad as 'passively' consuming media on the iPad. What are your thoughts on using screens as part of social interactions? FWIW, most of her friends don't seem to do in=person play dates, as most of the parents work (I'm a teacher so I have holidays off). She also does about 5 hours of her sport a week, plus drama and music activities as well, and spends time outside on the swing / trampoline. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seayork2002 Posted April 9, 2021 Share Posted April 9, 2021 At first I was not amused but listening to DS13 (not intentionally we live in a small place it is hard not to hear) and the way he interacts I am quite pleased in way, mind you DS spends a lot of time at his grandparents and he is not on the internet there but we let him have some home alone time to do his gaming if he wants. so overall with us going away, grandparents and scouts he is not on much I guessDS only chats about gaming and games with others there is no social media happening (his choice) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seayork2002 Posted April 9, 2021 Share Posted April 9, 2021 Oh we have suggested he meet up with friends sometimes but that 'is not cool mum not cool these days' or some other thing at his high school it seems and his old friends from primary live too far away now for a meet up with out parent input Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rainbowbear Posted April 9, 2021 Share Posted April 9, 2021 My kids are similar in age and have certain games that they like to play with friends via video call too, so l both them and the friend will be on their computer /iPad playing the same game together while talking about what they are doing via the kids messenger. I don't mind it as in both cases they are friends who no longer live close and it comes in waves so they seem to be keen for a while then do go off it. Neither of my kids are into general messaging or have any interest in other social media Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spidey_Senses Posted April 9, 2021 Share Posted April 9, 2021 Im curious how common this is with kids being on messenger. Are my kids unusual by not being on it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Owls Posted April 9, 2021 Share Posted April 9, 2021 Sounds very normal to me, though possibly not a mainstream thing. My kids spend ages online, playing group games, on group messenger, playing cards/boardgames etc. It's great because although it is not in person, it's the same communication/play and as we live in a shoebox, not a problem to facilitate having people over. They do meet up with friends for movies/mall/parks, but online as a social outlet is very important. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MoukMouk Posted April 10, 2021 Share Posted April 10, 2021 I have in a lot on screen time in 2020. I noticed with DS (and other boys parents have commented) that boys often use gaming together as a way to talk and communicate. (I know that’s a stereotype, but in our case it’s true). They will often be chatting about all sorts of things while they play fortnite or Minecraft. Often he will have a game on the switch, with chat, and FaceTime on his phone and iPad to different friends. I don’t mind - I often listen in and accept that kids communicate and socialise in many different ways than I used to. DD (13) is all about Snapchat and TikTok, and just text messaging. Not so much Insta, and Facebook “is for old people” Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zogee Posted April 10, 2021 Share Posted April 10, 2021 Yep my 9 yo loves video chat while gaming. I quite like FB messenger for kids because it’s easy to monitor. My older daughter video calls on WhatsApp during term but hasn’t done it so much recently. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laridae Posted April 10, 2021 Share Posted April 10, 2021 FB messenger kids isn't social media as such. Its purely a messaging/video chat type thing. Mine talk to their friends while playing games on it too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
verucasalt Posted April 10, 2021 Share Posted April 10, 2021 My son who is 11 is having a play date with a few friends tomorrow. They are all bringing their iPads to game at our house. I've told all the parents that they will be on their devices for a maximum time of 90 minutes. I'll give them a 10 minute warning before time is up and then it's afternoon tea time, and then hand ball/park afterwards.I hate devices with such a passion, but I also did not want to be hypocritical as television was massive when I was growing up and my parents were really strict, so we barely watched anything. It was much more difficult to get age inappropriate content on this medium. The risks are far greater in the current environment. Children chat about their gaming to each other, and it would be difficult to participate if they had no idea about it at all.Now that we have an x-box, my partner and I sometimes game with our son in a multiplayer game, but we are very vigilant about the amount of time spent on screens generally. I'm totally uncoordinated and my partner gets really sick from the hyper real visuals. We also ensure all homework is completed at an expected standard before gaming time. I'm not sure what the high school years will be like as I remember that felt like a big change and a lot more responsibility. Thankfully there is no interest in social media here. I've noticed that a lot of the girls in late primary have these accounts. I only organise one of these types of playdates each holiday, the rest are all outdoors at a park. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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