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MissHLH

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My bubba is on the small side, started on the 25th percentile for weight and has drifted down and is between the 3rd and 5th percentile now (her length and head circumference have stuck to their curves). She is meeting all her developmental milestones and is generally pretty happy these days. She is 19 weeks old.


The pediatrician wants me to top up each feed with formula (or just change to formula), but I really want to continue breastfeeding. I’m pumping, taking mottilium and supplements, and using a teat that’s meant to mimic eating from the breast.


Is she old enough/used to breastfeeding enough that I shouldn’t worry about her not wanting the breast any more. Are there any good resources on co-feeding? I was at sleep school when this push for more formula started (she was already getting some), and really got no encouragement to keep breastfeeding which I found really disappointing and upsetting. I just want hope that we can continue as long as possible.

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She should be okay to mix feed at that age. Sounds like she’s okay with a bottle, so just start adding a little formula to the bottle, increasing the percentage every few days until she’s used to the taste.

Every kid is different but my kids had no problems having formula at daycare or with grandparents while still breastfeeding at home. They wouldn’t take a bottle from me though!!

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I did co feeding, mainly so DH could do the midnight feed and because pumping wasn't increasing my supply.

My suggestion for formula is go to your local supermarket and choose the one there's lots of stock of and isn't popular. That way you don't get caught in the shortages situation.

DH was breast feed until he was 18 months, until he started being silly and just biting all the time. He wasn't interested anymore and in a way he chose to stop, so the best outcome in a way.

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My bub hung around the 1st percentile for months (she dropped off the chart at one point) and around the 5 month mark is became clear that breastfeeding wasnt enough for her, so we added in a bottle of formula at bedtime. That topped her up and got her weight increasing until she was ready to start solids at six months.

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Is he using the breastfed baby weight chart or the standard chart?

Is your baby filling her nappy lots? Is she otherwise happy?

I came up against this lots, and it’s incredibly frustrating, but if sup feed is needed, do it in the afternoon or evening. You have more milk in the morning after sleeping, and the milk you produce in the late evening is more soporific.

 

I second this. I needn't have had the nightmare I did if people had listened to me, and that included doctors and nurses at the hospital, baby health centre nurse, the Nursing Mother's association and so on. I had to work it out for myself (I was on numerous medications.)


Trying to work from home and doing a top up after each breastfeed was a bit of a nightmare, and after several weeks I gave up and did it all my way. I was in the unusual position of having even more milk overnight than most people and less during the day (due to two of the medications) combined with an underweight baby who slept through from 11pm until 5am, then was pretty much hysterical from late morning. Ignored the experts, woke her for a feed at 2am, then fed when she wanted during the day, with a bottle of formula in the evening when my husband got home. Our lives turned around from that point on. If we'd been encouraged to do what worked for us, we'd have been saved three months of misery.


Do what works for you - if you find feeding more often during the day then topping up with formula of an evening works, then it works. Good luck.


ETA: Another story: a friend had a daughter similar time. Above average weight and average height. She had all the usual 'failure to thrive' etc and encouraged to top up, despite the fact that her daughter was quite content. Child grew up to be a short (as in 5ft), slight person, just like some of their relatives - she simply didn't need the extra.

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Definitely give the ABA helpline a call. This is a common query (how to mixed feed while preserving the BFing relationship) and they should have some good evidence based advice for you.


And call back again as many times as you need - eg if you don’t ‘click’ with the counselor who answers the first time, or you want to clarify or just for the support you have not been getting.


Without knowing your current feeding pattern, the single best way to increase milk supply is to put your baby to the breast. So if it’s possible and practical, you could try feeding more frequently? I found that health care providers were almost universally poorly educated on normal breastfeeding behaviour and pushed me to have my sons on a ‘schedule’ of 2 to 3 hourly feeds around the clock. This did not match their needs at all. I just fed them on cue, whether 30min from the last feed or 1.5hrs or 3 hrs.


I loathed pumping, too, so only did that when it was most convenient (after the first feed after waking). Granted I was pumping for different reasons to you, though (not for supply).


Also seeing lactation consultant (make sure they are IBCLC) is a great idea if you haven’t already. You could also visit your local ABA group meeting (they may still have a catch up left before xmas...).


Good luck! It breaks my heart to hear you have not been well supported to continue to breastfeed. This is a far too common occurrence.

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On the percentile issue: What do you and DH, and your entended families look like? If you're all small people, then it may very well be "normal" for your baby. I'll second PP regarding wet diapers and cues as to general well-being, and the recommendation to reach out to a lactation consultant.

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If you wish to go to mixed feeding she should be fine. I have crap milk supplies for my kids. Pumping barely got 20mls if I was lucky and despite medication I just couldn't get enough milk made. My younger was having weight issues. We topped up with 60mls every other feed. We did this for months. I did increase the amount around the 8months mark to 120/180mls but he still breastfed a lot. We kept on it until he self weaned around the 15 month mark. So it is totally possible.

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Similar story here to the others. My little one started on the 25th percentile, and got down to about the 12th. We successfully mix fed until introducing solids, and then breastfed until 19 months.


Between the midwives at the hospital, the drop in clinic, the pead, the private IBCLC and treaillian everyone has different advice on the amount we should be topping up (if any).... we landed on 3 x 30 ml top ups a day, after quite a lot of trial and error.

Have you seen an IBCLC for advice? It can make an enormous difference to the quality of advice you get.


Hang in there. It’s so hard and (speaking for myself at least) I felt like such a failure. There’s really not much advice on mix feeding either.

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Guest Chamomile

I had to give formula too due to low weight. I was told to look for the lowest protein formula, so that DS wouldn’t get too full and not come back for breastmilk. The lowest protein one I could find was NAN.


We gave a bottle of formula each night which he guzzled down for months. Then one night he turned his head and wouldn’t have the formula anymore and we went back to 100% breastfed.


I also had low supply because he had a tongue tie and didn’t feed effectively. This was eventually corrected as he got stronger.


I also recommend the ergo baby breastfeeding pillow (using the flat side of the pillow). It meant my baby could just relax and focus on feeding rather than using his neck muscles to try to stay in position.

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If bub is already happy taking the bottle then mixed feeding should be fine but you have to do what works for you, bub and your family.


FWIW I did mixed feeding with my boys at various times and breastfeeding followed with bottles means a lot of extra work cleaning and sterilising bottles. I did find it simpler when a feed was just breast or bottle.


🤗

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Is he using the breastfed baby weight chart or the standard chart?

Is your baby filling her nappy lots? Is she otherwise happy?

I came up against this lots, and it’s incredibly frustrating, but if sup feed is needed, do it in the afternoon or evening. You have more milk in the morning after sleeping, and the milk you produce in the late evening is more soporific.

 

I don't know what chart he is using, but she's very happy and has plenty of wet and dirty nappies. I was already giving one bottle at night, which the MCHN suggested. We had been seeing the GP or MCHN weekly for weigh-ins, and I had been trying to give top-ups for each feed, but she would rarely take it, so we decided one whole bottle in the evening was a better option. The nurse said it would affect my supply or BF in general, so was not an issue. We had just moved away from weekly weigh-ins because it seemed it was just who she was, so they were happy.

 

Have you had a lactation consultant review? They can help work out what’s going on and support you to reach your breastfeeding goals.

 

 

I did, but I think I should again. I was hoping to get feeding help at sleep school... Whilst I had low supply to start with, I think everything I'm taking now and pumping regularly, my supply is adequate, but I do sometimes think her transfer is poor (but not always, so I'm not sure really).

 

My suggestion for formula is go to your local supermarket and choose the one there's lots of stock of and isn't popular. That way you don't get caught in the shortages situation.

DH was breast feed until he was 18 months, until he started being silly and just biting all the time. He wasn't interested anymore and in a way he chose to stop, so the best outcome in a way.

 

We got put on a prescription formula (it smells terrible!). I don't think we need it, and it costs (the tax-payer mostly) a lot. That's what I want (not the biting!), for her to continue until she is done. 18 months would be amazing.

 

My bub hung around the 1st percentile for months (she dropped off the chart at one point) and around the 5 month mark is became clear that breastfeeding wasnt enough for her, so we added in a bottle of formula at bedtime. That topped her up and got her weight increasing until she was ready to start solids at six months.

 

I've been told not to start solids yet (she doesn't really seem that interested), because they are generally low calorie things to start with. Maybe I'll start with avacado!

 

I needn't have had the nightmare I did if people had listened to me, and that included doctors and nurses at the hospital, baby health centre nurse, the Nursing Mother's association and so on. I had to work it out for myself (I was on numerous medications.)


Trying to work from home and doing a top up after each breastfeed was a bit of a nightmare, and after several weeks I gave up and did it all my way. I was in the unusual position of having even more milk overnight than most people and less during the day (due to two of the medications) combined with an underweight baby who slept through from 11pm until 5am, then was pretty much hysterical from late morning. Ignored the experts, woke her for a feed at 2am, then fed when she wanted during the day, with a bottle of formula in the evening when my husband got home. Our lives turned around from that point on. If we'd been encouraged to do what worked for us, we'd have been saved three months of misery.


Do what works for you - if you find feeding more often during the day then topping up with formula of an evening works, then it works. Good luck.

 

Thank you! I feel like my MCHN has been amazing really. We tried regular top-ups, it didn't seem to work and was a lot of extra work. She looked at the whole picture - a happy, super alert bubba, who just happens to be lighter. My GP has been really good too - she said just do what we were doing (one bottle of an evening), and just tell the pediatrician what he wants to hear! But I feel so torn - I obviously don't want to starve my baby.

 

Definitely give the ABA helpline a call. This is a common query (how to mixed feed while preserving the BFing relationship) and they should have some good evidence based advice for you.


And call back again as many times as you need - eg if you don’t ‘click’ with the counselor who answers the first time, or you want to clarify or just for the support you have not been getting.


Without knowing your current feeding pattern, the single best way to increase milk supply is to put your baby to the breast. So if it’s possible and practical, you could try feeding more frequently? I found that health care providers were almost universally poorly educated on normal breastfeeding behaviour and pushed me to have my sons on a ‘schedule’ of 2 to 3 hourly feeds around the clock. This did not match their needs at all. I just fed them on cue, whether 30min from the last feed or 1.5hrs or 3 hrs.


I loathed pumping, too, so only did that when it was most convenient (after the first feed after waking). Granted I was pumping for different reasons to you, though (not for supply).


Also seeing lactation consultant (make sure they are IBCLC) is a great idea if you haven’t already. You could also visit your local ABA group meeting (they may still have a catch up left before xmas...).


Good luck! It breaks my heart to hear you have not been well supported to continue to breastfeed. This is a far too common occurrence.

 

Thank you, I've been a little scared to call, I didn't want to be judged for using formula, it's good to know that it will be okay. I do try to feed based on when she seems hungry, maybe I'm missing cues, or should just try and offer again 30-60 minutes after she feeds - can't hurt and if she doesn't want it then at least I've offered.

 

On the percentile issue: What do you and DH, and your entended families look like? If you're all small people, then it may very well be "normal" for your baby. I'll second PP regarding wet diapers and cues as to general well-being, and the recommendation to reach out to a lactation consultant.

Overall, I do think she is just following her genetics - reasonably tall and slim. She really does seem happy and content (especially now we have sleep somewhat under control!). And that's part of the picture the GP and MCHN looked at and decided she was doing okay.

 

If you wish to go to mixed feeding she should be fine. I have crap milk supplies for my kids. Pumping barely got 20mls if I was lucky and despite medication I just couldn't get enough milk made. My younger was having weight issues. We topped up with 60mls every other feed. We did this for months. I did increase the amount around the 8months mark to 120/180mls but he still breastfed a lot. We kept on it until he self weaned around the 15 month mark. So it is totally possible.

Thank you - I think I just want to hear that it's possible. Self-weaning is my goal.

 

Between the midwives at the hospital, the drop in clinic, the pead, the private IBCLC and treaillian everyone has different advice on the amount we should be topping up (if any).... we landed on 3 x 30 ml top ups a day, after quite a lot of trial and error.

Have you seen an IBCLC for advice? It can make an enormous difference to the quality of advice you get.


Hang in there. It’s so hard and (speaking for myself at least) I felt like such a failure. There’s really not much advice on mix feeding either.

Yes - lots of different advice, and you're right, there is not a lot of information about mix feeding. I do feel like a failure - like I'm not enough for her. It's really nice to get such good advice here, because I am really struggling with the sense of failure.

 

I had to give formula too due to low weight. I was told to look for the lowest protein formula, so that DS wouldn’t get too full and not come back for breastmilk. The lowest protein one I could find was NAN.


We gave a bottle of formula each night which he guzzled down for months. Then one night he turned his head and wouldn’t have the formula anymore and we went back to 100% breastfed.


I also had low supply because he had a tongue tie and didn’t feed effectively. This was eventually corrected as he got stronger.


I also recommend the ergo baby breastfeeding pillow (using the flat side of the pillow). It meant my baby could just relax and focus on feeding rather than using his neck muscles to try to stay in position.

We're now on a prescription formula (although I'm 100% sure it's not required, the pediatrician says he uses it to rule out absorption issues in all slow weight gaining babies - it's an authority script, so I don't think it's the right thing to do, but...). A nursing pillow is a good idea, I'm struggling with my arms to hold her, so maybe I don't keep her in the best position.

 

If bub is already happy taking the bottle then mixed feeding should be fine but you have to do what works for you, bub and your family.


FWIW I did mixed feeding with my boys at various times and breastfeeding followed with bottles means a lot of extra work cleaning and sterilising bottles. I did find it simpler when a feed was just breast or bottle.


🤗

Thank you! It is a lot of extra work BF, bottle, express. I'm over washing and steralising bottles.



Thank you everyone for the support, it is really amazing and means a lot to me.

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ClaudiaCosette



Yes - lots of different advice, and you're right, there is not a lot of information about mix feeding. I do feel like a failure - like I'm not enough for her. It's really nice to get such good advice here, because I am really struggling with the sense of failure.



 

 

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I had to mix feed my twins as my supply was so low as to be virtually non-existent. I had fully breast-fed my two older kids, and it was such a blow to find that I couldn't do the same for my twins - but it was complicated because they were premmie and one was very sick; they'd already had donor milk, and once they were past the age for that there was no option but to give formula top-ups.


I struggled with that sense of failure also and it was really hard (I was in tears when the doctor told me I just didn't have enough for both of them) but I did manage to keep breast-feeding with formula top-ups them until 6 months, then switched entirely to formula (and to be honest, this did make things a lot easier for me).


Whatever happens for you and your baby, just remember that you have already given her so much - grown her for 9 months, given her as much breast milk as you can, and if she needs any extra, you will make sure she gets that too.

Edited by TeaCat
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Is he using the breastfed baby weight chart or the standard chart?

Is your baby filling her nappy lots? Is she otherwise happy?

I came up against this lots, and it’s incredibly frustrating, but if sup feed is needed, do it in the afternoon or evening. You have more milk in the morning after sleeping, and the milk you produce in the late evening is more soporific.

 

I don't know what chart he is using, but she's very happy and has plenty of wet and dirty nappies. I was already giving one bottle at night, which the MCHN suggested. We had been seeing the GP or MCHN weekly for weigh-ins, and I had been trying to give top-ups for each feed, but she would rarely take it, so we decided one whole bottle in the evening was a better option. The nurse said it would affect my supply or BF in general, so was not an issue. We had just moved away from weekly weigh-ins because it seemed it was just who she was, so they were happy.

 

Have you had a lactation consultant review? They can help work out what’s going on and support you to reach your breastfeeding goals.

 

 

I did, but I think I should again. I was hoping to get feeding help at sleep school... Whilst I had low supply to start with, I think everything I'm taking now and pumping regularly, my supply is adequate, but I do sometimes think her transfer is poor (but not always, so I'm not sure really).

 

My suggestion for formula is go to your local supermarket and choose the one there's lots of stock of and isn't popular. That way you don't get caught in the shortages situation.

DH was breast feed until he was 18 months, until he started being silly and just biting all the time. He wasn't interested anymore and in a way he chose to stop, so the best outcome in a way.

 

We got put on a prescription formula (it smells terrible!). I don't think we need it, and it costs (the tax-payer mostly) a lot. That's what I want (not the biting!), for her to continue until she is done. 18 months would be amazing.

 

My bub hung around the 1st percentile for months (she dropped off the chart at one point) and around the 5 month mark is became clear that breastfeeding wasnt enough for her, so we added in a bottle of formula at bedtime. That topped her up and got her weight increasing until she was ready to start solids at six months.

 

I've been told not to start solids yet (she doesn't really seem that interested), because they are generally low calorie things to start with. Maybe I'll start with avacado!

 

I needn't have had the nightmare I did if people had listened to me, and that included doctors and nurses at the hospital, baby health centre nurse, the Nursing Mother's association and so on. I had to work it out for myself (I was on numerous medications.)


Trying to work from home and doing a top up after each breastfeed was a bit of a nightmare, and after several weeks I gave up and did it all my way. I was in the unusual position of having even more milk overnight than most people and less during the day (due to two of the medications) combined with an underweight baby who slept through from 11pm until 5am, then was pretty much hysterical from late morning. Ignored the experts, woke her for a feed at 2am, then fed when she wanted during the day, with a bottle of formula in the evening when my husband got home. Our lives turned around from that point on. If we'd been encouraged to do what worked for us, we'd have been saved three months of misery.


Do what works for you - if you find feeding more often during the day then topping up with formula of an evening works, then it works. Good luck.

 

Thank you! I feel like my MCHN has been amazing really. We tried regular top-ups, it didn't seem to work and was a lot of extra work. She looked at the whole picture - a happy, super alert bubba, who just happens to be lighter. My GP has been really good too - she said just do what we were doing (one bottle of an evening), and just tell the pediatrician what he wants to hear! But I feel so torn - I obviously don't want to starve my baby.

 

Definitely give the ABA helpline a call. This is a common query (how to mixed feed while preserving the BFing relationship) and they should have some good evidence based advice for you.


And call back again as many times as you need - eg if you don’t ‘click’ with the counselor who answers the first time, or you want to clarify or just for the support you have not been getting.


Without knowing your current feeding pattern, the single best way to increase milk supply is to put your baby to the breast. So if it’s possible and practical, you could try feeding more frequently? I found that health care providers were almost universally poorly educated on normal breastfeeding behaviour and pushed me to have my sons on a ‘schedule’ of 2 to 3 hourly feeds around the clock. This did not match their needs at all. I just fed them on cue, whether 30min from the last feed or 1.5hrs or 3 hrs.


I loathed pumping, too, so only did that when it was most convenient (after the first feed after waking). Granted I was pumping for different reasons to you, though (not for supply).


Also seeing lactation consultant (make sure they are IBCLC) is a great idea if you haven’t already. You could also visit your local ABA group meeting (they may still have a catch up left before xmas...).


Good luck! It breaks my heart to hear you have not been well supported to continue to breastfeed. This is a far too common occurrence.

 

Thank you, I've been a little scared to call, I didn't want to be judged for using formula, it's good to know that it will be okay. I do try to feed based on when she seems hungry, maybe I'm missing cues, or should just try and offer again 30-60 minutes after she feeds - can't hurt and if she doesn't want it then at least I've offered.

 

On the percentile issue: What do you and DH, and your entended families look like? If you're all small people, then it may very well be "normal" for your baby. I'll second PP regarding wet diapers and cues as to general well-being, and the recommendation to reach out to a lactation consultant.

Overall, I do think she is just following her genetics - reasonably tall and slim. She really does seem happy and content (especially now we have sleep somewhat under control!). And that's part of the picture the GP and MCHN looked at and decided she was doing okay.

 

If you wish to go to mixed feeding she should be fine. I have crap milk supplies for my kids. Pumping barely got 20mls if I was lucky and despite medication I just couldn't get enough milk made. My younger was having weight issues. We topped up with 60mls every other feed. We did this for months. I did increase the amount around the 8months mark to 120/180mls but he still breastfed a lot. We kept on it until he self weaned around the 15 month mark. So it is totally possible.

Thank you - I think I just want to hear that it's possible. Self-weaning is my goal.

 

Between the midwives at the hospital, the drop in clinic, the pead, the private IBCLC and treaillian everyone has different advice on the amount we should be topping up (if any).... we landed on 3 x 30 ml top ups a day, after quite a lot of trial and error.

Have you seen an IBCLC for advice? It can make an enormous difference to the quality of advice you get.


Hang in there. It’s so hard and (speaking for myself at least) I felt like such a failure. There’s really not much advice on mix feeding either.

Yes - lots of different advice, and you're right, there is not a lot of information about mix feeding. I do feel like a failure - like I'm not enough for her. It's really nice to get such good advice here, because I am really struggling with the sense of failure.

 

I had to give formula too due to low weight. I was told to look for the lowest protein formula, so that DS wouldn’t get too full and not come back for breastmilk. The lowest protein one I could find was NAN.


We gave a bottle of formula each night which he guzzled down for months. Then one night he turned his head and wouldn’t have the formula anymore and we went back to 100% breastfed.


I also had low supply because he had a tongue tie and didn’t feed effectively. This was eventually corrected as he got stronger.


I also recommend the ergo baby breastfeeding pillow (using the flat side of the pillow). It meant my baby could just relax and focus on feeding rather than using his neck muscles to try to stay in position.

We're now on a prescription formula (although I'm 100% sure it's not required, the pediatrician says he uses it to rule out absorption issues in all slow weight gaining babies - it's an authority script, so I don't think it's the right thing to do, but...). A nursing pillow is a good idea, I'm struggling with my arms to hold her, so maybe I don't keep her in the best position.

 

If bub is already happy taking the bottle then mixed feeding should be fine but you have to do what works for you, bub and your family.


FWIW I did mixed feeding with my boys at various times and breastfeeding followed with bottles means a lot of extra work cleaning and sterilising bottles. I did find it simpler when a feed was just breast or bottle.


🤗

Thank you! It is a lot of extra work BF, bottle, express. I'm over washing and steralising bottles.



Thank you everyone for the support, it is really amazing and means a lot to me.

 



Honestly, I get that it’s hard and hormones make you a little crazy and are just screaming at you to feed your baby, but you shouldn’t feel like a failure. If you were a failure you wouldn’t be trying so hard to do the right thing by your baby. That makes you an excellent parent - whatever decision you make on feeding (or anything else for that matter).


You’re doing amazingly xx

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  • 2 weeks later...

You've had lots of great advice here.


I just wanted to recommend these fb groups. They have been a life saver for me https://www.facebook.com/groups/breastfeedersinaustralia/?ref=share


https://www.facebook.com/groups/thebreastfeedingcooperativeaustralia/?ref=share


Unfortunately most sleep school advice will jeopardise breastfeeding to natural term as they rely on feeding to a schedule rather than responsive feeding.


I may have missed it but wanted to suggest you look at pace feeding when using the bottle. It can help prevent bub developing a preference for the bottle or over feeding from one.

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Yes - lots of different advice, and you're right, there is not a lot of information about mix feeding. I do feel like a failure - like I'm not enough for her. It's really nice to get such good advice here, because I am really struggling with the sense of failure.



 

 

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I had to mix feed my twins as my supply was so low as to be virtually non-existent. I had fully breast-fed my two older kids, my first til he self-weaned at 12 months and my second until I weaned her at 2 and it was such a blow to find that I couldn't do the same for my twins - but it was complicated because they were premmie and one was very sick; they'd already had donor milk, and once they were past the age for that there was no option but to give formula top-ups.


I struggled with that sense of failure also and it was really hard (I was in tears when the doctor told me I just didn't have enough for both of them) but I did manage to keep breast-feeding with formula top-ups them until 6 months, then switched entirely to formula (and to be honest, this did make things a lot easier for me).


They are 2.5 now and both are still on the small side but they are growing well and eating really well now. Whatever happens for you and your baby, just remember that you have already given her so much - grown her for 9 months, given her as much breast milk as you can, and if she needs any extra, you will make sure she gets that too.

 

Thank you. And I bet you can't tell the difference between your twins and your older kids just because they fed differently. I'm trying to remember that!

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Honestly, I get that it’s hard and hormones make you a little crazy and are just screaming at you to feed your baby, but you shouldn’t feel like a failure. If you were a failure you wouldn’t be trying so hard to do the right thing by your baby. That makes you an excellent parent - whatever decision you make on feeding (or anything else for that matter).


You’re doing amazingly xx

 

Thank you.


I feel so bad it's taken so long to come back to this post - it's been a tough time for a few reasons, but I really have felt so supported, it's made a real difference.

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Anyone you speak to at ABA ought to be delighted you’ve pushed through all by yourself to 19 weeks, and if they are not and have a word to say against formula top ups, you’ve got the wrong person on the line. Bear in mind they are all volunteers with a bit of experience, on a roster to take calls, and not an actual funded health service so you can expect some to suit you better than others - if you feel worse after talking instead of better / supported, you had the wrong person. Don’t hesitate to end the call early if that is how you are feeling.

I hated our first MCHN with a passion. Almost every single one since has been delightful (3 kids). I BF to 17 months, 11 months and 6 months. I “had” to stop early with my youngest for my own medical issues.

I pumped a lot, my only suggestion would be (if you do a formula feed then, no BF) to pump once in the late afternoon/ evening even if you don’t get a lot. That extra time a day can make a difference to supply. Even if you only got 10mls at that time, the 10 mins spent will help maintaining supply.

If dealing with sterile bottles and cleaning is making that too hard, there is also the heretical and confrontational option of just dumping that 10ml !! Pouring liquid gold down the sink !!

Also remember that at 26 weeks, you can move away from “sterile” to “clean” which should make life a little easier.

 

Thank you. I am pumping after each feed, but mainly just to up supply rather than make up a bottle (although if I can make a whole bottle that's a bonus). It's hard when it's just a few ml, but I tell myself that it's telling my body it needs to make a few more mls tomorrow. But I'm ready to stop most of the pumping sessions (I think I've upped my supply as much as I can), and just keep the early evening. I don't know that I could bring myself to pour pumped milk down the sink!

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You've had lots of great advice here.


I just wanted to recommend these fb groups. They have been a life saver for me https://www.facebook.com/groups/breastfeedersinaustralia/?ref=share


https://www.facebook.com/groups/thebreastfeedingcooperativeaustralia/?ref=share


Unfortunately most sleep school advice will jeopardise breastfeeding to natural term as they rely on feeding to a schedule rather than responsive feeding.


I may have missed it but wanted to suggest you look at pace feeding when using the bottle. It can help prevent bub developing a preference for the bottle or over feeding from one.

 

I'm honestly not sure I could recommend sleep school - I just couldn't believe how unsupportive they were of breastfeeding, but also on some other issues. Thank you about the paced feeding - I'm so awkward with the bottle. We're also using slow-flow teats, so hopefully that helps too.

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I know Possum's are supposed to be a gentle sleep service that may be able to help. I'll see if I can find a link.

 

Thanks - we went to Masada and it was not fun (not that I expected it to be!). And Christmas has set us back and sometimes I feel okay and sometimes I feel so lost. But I'm sure we will find our way...

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I follow The Beyond Sleep Training Project group and page on FB and they gave me tonnes of reassurance about normal newborn/infant/child sleep patterns and behaviours.


I'll always advocate for a gentle approach and believe they do a great job of that.


I respect that when you're in the thick of things it can feel overwhelming to consider disrupted sleep as normal and to be expected though so am reluctant to tell you to look there. But you will find tonnes of families who were failed by sleep school.


I hate that there's such an enormous lack of support when so many Mums are left doubting themselves and having to figure this stuff out alone. Hang in there your first post and subsequent posts here are evidence you're doing really well. X

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Anyone you speak to at ABA ought to be delighted you’ve pushed through all by yourself to 19 weeks, and if they are not and have a word to say against formula top ups, you’ve got the wrong person on the line. Bear in mind they are all volunteers with a bit of experience, on a roster to take calls, and not an actual funded health service so you can expect some to suit you better than others - if you feel worse after talking instead of better / supported, you had the wrong person. Don’t hesitate to end the call early if that is how you are feeling.

I hated our first MCHN with a passion. Almost every single one since has been delightful (3 kids). I BF to 17 months, 11 months and 6 months. I “had” to stop early with my youngest for my own medical issues.

I pumped a lot, my only suggestion would be (if you do a formula feed then, no BF) to pump once in the late afternoon/ evening even if you don’t get a lot. That extra time a day can make a difference to supply. Even if you only got 10mls at that time, the 10 mins spent will help maintaining supply.

If dealing with sterile bottles and cleaning is making that too hard, there is also the heretical and confrontational option of just dumping that 10ml !! Pouring liquid gold down the sink !!

Also remember that at 26 weeks, you can move away from “sterile” to “clean” which should make life a little easier.

 

Thank you. I am pumping after each feed, but mainly just to up supply rather than make up a bottle (although if I can make a whole bottle that's a bonus). It's hard when it's just a few ml, but I tell myself that it's telling my body it needs to make a few more mls tomorrow. But I'm ready to stop most of the pumping sessions (I think I've upped my supply as much as I can), and just keep the early evening. I don't know that I could bring myself to pour pumped milk down the sink!

 


I remember feeling like this. It was so hard and so draining and so horrible seeing practically nothing coming out. One of the first recommendations my private IBCLC recommended for me was to wean off the pumping after every feed, because it just wasn’t worth the toll it was taking on my mental health. (After chatting to me about my goals and what I wanted).


If you’re in Sydney let me know and I can pass on a recommendation. Honestly, she was such a life saver I’ve since recommend her to a bunch of friends who all loved her too. Otherwise I’m sure someone here might have suggestions for your area if you want to say where you are?


Again, you’re doing great. I know it feels like you’re doing something wrong and you’re a failure and you’re all alone but none of those things are true at all xx

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