Workplace Disputes

This is a question for people in HR/Management.

So there is a massive conflict between the three administrators and the owner/boss (my Dad).

I can see both sides to the argument here and I can see that both sides are justified in responses and feelings of frustration.

On one hand, there is a queen bee admin chick who is fueling the negativity and is flat out refusing to do any work for the boss because "What is you're problem. You're always picking on us". This has now spread to feelings of victimization and justified in their negativity - because he is getting cranky because they aren't doing their job! Then other staff as seeing it as well and then it's just this spread.

Now, from my view point. I think that it's an ultimate breakdown of communication and clash of personalities/egos.

He feels that she is too big for her britches and needs to be reminded of her place.

She thinks that he is a bully and singling out admin staff for issues. she blames everything on management.

I think both points are right - to a point. I think that she has taken things too far without being able to sit in a discussion. Any discussion with her just ends in "you're not treating us equally/you're taking advantage of us". At the end of the day, she hasn't been doing her job and that needs to be addressed without accusations of being a bully for holding her accountable. And no one is being taken advantage of - I personally have made sure of that. She is also bringing other staff members into it, so breeding a negative workplace. The three of them don't participate in any workplace morning teas etc, go to lunch separately, will turn their back when you talk to them etc.

I feel that he also has taken things too far and is absolutely shocking at communication and resorts to tantrums and is bringing his personal emotions into it. He is unable to hold the staff accountable because he isn't holding himself above that. It does take a lot of humility to hear that someone doesn't like you!

Now, there is where I am stuck. They are not speaking to me, don't trust me and feel that I am on his "side" simply because I am his daughter. This is not the case, but how can I manage the workplace through this?!

I have contacted several workplace counsellors/mediators, because I think that's a good place to start? Maybe? I don't know!?

I just want to sit them all down and be like

"You! Work on your communications and how you give directions. Ensure they are clear, and instead of giving verbal. Try sending a task or email with a clear due date. Hold them to do that date/time. Grow a pair and stop acting like a petulant child when told you have been wrong"

"You 3! Do your job and then he won't get cranky. Also, grow up and stop with the whispers and not talking to anyone else within the office. This is not highschool. But if someone tells you to do something, just bloody do it."

I may be completely off base but anyway I just need to vent to people who are not involved at all!

I think an impartial third party mediator is the way to go with this. You are being most gracious and professional about things, but as you are related to the boss, some won’t take kindly to your advice, no matter how sensible it is.

EFS

Wow sounds like a very stressful situation. TBH it sounds like workplace communications and productivity have irrevocably broken down and it will be very difficult to salvage.

Anyway I agree with Silverstreak above that an independent 3rd party might be the way to go if possible. Both "sides" have well and truly dug their heels in and I think it unlikely they will be able to resolve this amicably themselves.

The admin chick is acting toxic. My 2 cents.

The admin chick is acting toxic. My 2 cents.

I think both parties, admin chick and boss are toxic. Neither are acting appropriately or professionally and both are causing further harm and issues including pettiness, stubbornness and rudeness. From what has been stated I believe that it maybe too late for a mediator. If they were my staff I would remove both of them from the area as their dynamic sounds very destructive, Unfortunately for admin chick the boss owns the business, so it would be best for her and the business if she left.

I think a mediator might be able to assist in coming to an agreement in assisting the admin chick to move on, it will involve a payout though as it sounds as if she has been abused by her boss numerous times (tantrums, rudeness, etc) So i would also contact fairwork to understand what conditions need to be fulfilled if mediator can't sort issues out.

I also think that a good mediator will also assist with helping your dads relationships with the rest of the staff, as they have all been in a very toxic workplace where trust has been eroded and it is possible they will move on or possibly put in a WHS claim due to toxic workplace.

Sorry OP, but your dad has contributed to a very toxic workplace.

The dynamic needs to be changed, getting rid of the admin girl will assist this but not solve it given what you have said about your dads behaviour.

I think you might also need someone objective to hear the admin staff and work thorough the processes to see what actually works best, so the staff have been heard, the processes work for everyone. This is not usually a mediators role, so you might want to consider hiring someone perhaps, a business consultant, who can assist in building the team back up, reworking processes and job descriptions. just a thought.

Good luck, it all sounds vey difficult and I do not wish to be in your shoes.

Have you ever read the ask a manager blog, she deals with issues like this a lot.

Thanks everyone.

Most definately my Dad has contributed. He has been different since coming back from his cancer treatment and I think that's contributing to it all. He has been told by multiple people (myself included) that he needs to see a pyschologist to help with his conflict resolution and the fact he has faced something traumatic and is having problems processing that. He gets his knickers in a knot over the weirdest crap and expects his staff to fawn all over him, just because he owns the business. That's not the real world and if you act like a wanker, someone will tell you that you're a wanker!

Unfortunately it has flowed into the workplace. It should also be noted that I get told a lot of stuff "heresay" hence why I will not act on anything. Nothing actually happens when I am around, it's like i'm a buffer for all parties (because all know I will step in and diffuse any situation pretty quickly).

I had flagged this being an issue 6-9months ago while we were still working from home. I could have nipped all the frustrations in the bud before it turned into a war and admin chick would have probably left, not due to anything untoward but because she has consistently been letting things slide for that long. I would have held her accountable a while ago.

Ultimately, it lays with him. It's his business and if he wants to be a petulant child then he has to accept he will have no staff. Or he can have some humility and accept help!

I might just list the damn business on gumtree and cut the losses LOL (kinda,....)

I work in IR.

I think unfortunately you won’t be able to solve the problem without your dad acting a bit more maturely. As the boss, he sets the culture, primarily through actions.

He’s not doing her any favours by not doing official performance management - that’s the process to deal with behavioural issues. It sounds like she really needs it.

Likewise he’s not doing himself any favours. I’ve seen situations like these where the business owner won’t act professionally and won’t nip the problem in the bud end in a workcover claim by the employee for bullying.

I don’t know how you solve it. Her behaviour needs to change but if his doesn’t, there will be other employees who act this way in the future too.

I like what [mention]tinselfoil hat[/mention] has said. Way better than anyth8ng I could’ve expressed.

Personally that sort of behaviors in the workplace would leave me cold and I’d be wanting to run out the door. All the best with a civil resolution!

Oh dear. The rest of the info would have been good before l posted my original reply.

That all sounds awlful.

I'm sorry you don't feel comfortable in your own workplace.

Good luck OP.!

[mention]magic_marker[/mention] It isn't actually as bad as what it sounds like, it sounds like it is an every day thing but it really isn't. I just do my own thing and stay out of it as much as possible. I'm there to do a job and that's what I do. I have my own office and just headdown/bum up. It just blew up on Friday/Monday and when I first posted it was early in the day and I was apprehensive how things were going to pan out. Everyone has been polite and careful in their interactions - boss and admin girl worked together and he thanked her for helping him out.

The other admin staff are lovely and will actually chat whenever the other admin girl isn't around

I have contacted a few places. One looks really good who will also give guidance on procedures etc as well. Boss has said he is on board with an independent person coming in and reviewing everything so I am striking while the iron is hot!

@magic_marker It isn't actually as bad as what it sounds like, it sounds like it is an every day thing but it really isn't. I just do my own thing and stay out of it as much as possible. I'm there to do a job and that's what I do. I have my own office and just headdown/bum up. It just blew up on Friday/Monday and when I first posted it was early in the day and I was apprehensive how things were going to pan out. Everyone has been polite and careful in their interactions - boss and admin girl worked together and he thanked her for helping him out.

The other admin staff are lovely and will actually chat whenever the other admin girl isn't around

I have contacted a few places. One looks really good who will also give guidance on procedures etc as well. Boss has said he is on board with an independent person coming in and reviewing everything so I am striking while the iron is hot!

I should also add a slight defence for my Dad. He isn't ranting/raving at them every day, majority of his interactions are super polite but there's those minority ones which I am worried about and think that's what will cause a problem.

Are these the same staff members who refuse to wear their uniform, and dislike any option that you suggest for a new uniform?

That sounds promising [mention]NannyPlum[/mention] . I hope it goes well.

[mention]Paddlepop[/mention] yep! I still haven't ordered any new ones LOL I gave up in the end.

Oooh I didn’t pick up on this being the same workplace as the uniform dramas.

Someone external to assist all parties to pull their heads in sounds needed. And part of that is sucking it up about a uniform if there is one!

I’ve read a few of your workplace issues in here and the prior site.

Honestly it shouldn’t have to be this hard (which I think you know!)

Admin do not run the show and I suspect your dad knows there’s a real performance problem but isn’t able to address it correctly and it’s coming out in other ways.

External mediation may help. I’ve seen them cause more harm than good to though so tread carefully.

If there’s one main admin person who has a variety of performance issues I would be working closely with the HR / Legal advisers you have an performance managing that person.

They sound like trouble.

I think rather it be a conflict resolution, it should be someone who does workplace restructures so everyone can get clearly defined roles and KPIs and a clear conflict resolution path.

I think that your Dad also needs to get some management guidance himself - I worked with a boss/owner who believed that whenever he felt like it, he could single one person out and "convince" them to leave the company with his behaviours. You don't want your Dad to become this sort of boss.

Is there a workplace Code of Conduct? What sort of induction/training have they received?

My first thought would be to get an external consultant in to run a mandatory training session to re-induct everyone. Block out a day, pay everyone to come in and put on some catering for morning tea or lunch to make it a bit of a team building activity. All staff must attend, including your father. If you don't already have a Code of Conduct, the consultant can help you work together to develop one (which may help with achieving their buy-in and adherence). At the end of the day you can give them each a copy and have them sign off that they've received the training.

This will help from several angles:

• All staff are aware of what is expected from them and consequences (including performance management and/or termination of employment) for non-adherence

• Everyone is attending the same training so no one can complain they're being singled out

• Sets the tone that the company is taking this seriously as they are paying staff to attend

• Draws a line in the sand and establishes standards of behaviour, presentation and communication within the workplace going forward

• Provides you with a paper trail if you need to proceed to performance management or disciplinary action

I think your father also needs to undergo some professional development to improve his leadership skills. He needs to lead by example and model the expected behaviours to gain the trust and respect of his employees. There's a heap of free training around at the moment due to Covid-19. Check out state government employment or training department sites, as well as university and TAFE websites to see what's on offer.

Edited to fix formatting!

[mention]nom_de_plume[/mention] we do have a code of conduct, but I don't think it goes into admin, it's more for our casual tradesmen etc.

Full inductions/training. We all have, they have always been included in discussions when changing procedures to make sure that everyone is on the same page and that it won't negatively impact their workloads. From talking a bit more I have found out that they were unhappy about us staggering the hours of work to ensure that our phone line/email was covered from 7am-5pm which is aligning to what customers were saying. If they start at 7am, they finish at 3pm etc. But apparently they have said they feel like it was because they have lunch together and that we were singling them out.

They also aren't happy that which shifted some double handling back to them after the receptionist said she was overworked.

Literally as this blew up, I was in discussions with a guy to come out and to refreshers of training and project management! Which they knew about. I have also made sure to let our senior tradesmen know that they too, are expected to do the training so we are all on the same page.

We have 3 admin, a part time accountant, myself (who is part time), the boss, a couple of site supervisors. The rest of our staff are casuals who work on mine sites.

I was reviewing the books and forecasting for the next few months and I am actually more worried than ever, we don't have enough work for all of them which I am worried will cause more issues as they are bored.

An update!

We have some workplace training occuring in March.

Also sending my Dad to a specialist pyschologist who deals with workplace stuff but also is a normal pyschologist as well I'm a bit sneaky like that..."I think it might be best for you to see them first to set the tone and to show you're willing to work on yourself".

But the main instigator...resigned! As did one of our supervisors. They both left in the same week - covid week.

FML. So now we are short staffed everywhere. I mean it's good but it's also not good either

Yay that both the problems have resigned AND your dad is getting some help. I’m sure you’ll be able to fill those roles quick smart. Life will be soooo much easier without them around.

We had an instigator at work. Once they left, the work environment shifted (as in, tectonic plates colliding) and the tone of the workplace went down a few notches. The dreaded sense of "Oh FFS what now?" disappeared.

Your dad getting help with improving his communication style will be a bonus, and the current pain will certainly be worth it in the long run.

Thanks for the update OP. Great news that the main instigator has resigned. I remember reading your first post and thinking to myself that the situation had gone past the point of being salvageable, and the only way it could really be sorted would be if the main "Rabble Rouser" was gone.

Even though she had caused problems herself I think OP that you felt she hadn't been treated fairly at times either and my guess is she probably was very unhappy in her job too. So best for everyone including her that she can move somewhere else that suits her better.

[mention]Lucy[/mention] I do think that she was treated unfairly. I feel that she took this job as a sort of stepping stone and was only aiming to be in it for 6-12months. But circumstances meant that didn't happen so towards the end she was frustrated at being "stuck" and then a break down of communication, clash of personalities and Dad being a jerk.

Now he has pissed off the receptionist and no doubt she will leave at the first opportunity too!

I love him, but his attitude lately has effing sucked towards his staff members and I will happily let them leave. I wish I could join them!