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Tubes tied - experiences?


Daffy2016

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I’m hoping some people will be willing to share their experiences. I’m thinking of it myself, as I am very done having kids but DH doesn’t want a vasectomy.


I know it’s fairly full on surgery - how was your recovery? Would you do it again?

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I’m hoping some people will be willing to share their experiences. I’m thinking of it myself, as I am very done having kids but DH doesn’t want a vasectomy.


I know it’s fairly full on surgery - how was your recovery? Would you do it again?

 

My husband wanted a vasectomy, and could not have one due to another condition that would have led to further issues down the track.

I fell pregnant before we had a chance for me to get tubal ligation, I was trying different hormonal contraception.

I got tubal ligation when I had my daughter.

Have had no problems related to it at all.

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If I had my time again I would never have had my tubes tied. It started a decline in my gynae and mental health that resulted in depression and then an emergency hysterectomy 8 years later. I had tubal ligation syndrome and of course all the male doctors were 'doubtful' it existed but it does. There are hundreds of thousands of intelligent and previously well women in a support group that nobody ever thought they'd need to join.

I know this doesn't happen to everyone but vasectomy has virtually no consequences for the male other than there is no sperm in his ejaculate.

I would not tolerate a partner who doesn't want a vasectomy these days. I would have been stronger with my DH who was being a pussy about having one and it would have been "No vasectomy, no sex".


eta....If you want surgery to prevent pregnancy then a salpingectomy is the preferred option for many gynaecologists now.

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They should remove them, not tie them anymore. I had mine done in May last year and had detailed my experience on the old EB 😔

It was fine with laproscopy, two small scars on my left and a longer one in my belly button. Recovery was pretty good, and I took the opportunity to have two weeks off work, sitting up right for long periods tended to hurt, and I also hated my boss at the time 😂

A year on i rarely get a period, surgeon did an ablation at the same time, I get pain in one spot next to my belly button where they went through the abdominal wall when I have a big poo moving through and some lovely photos of my insides 😉


Good luck!

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Lucrezia Borgia

i had mine done when i had my second child by c section - so it all occurred under the same operation - got baby out, tied tubes. I have no regrets - i don’t have any side effects, no subsequent pregnancy so the operation proved fit for purpose! tbh though i would not have chosen this method if i wasn’t undergoing a c section - meaning, it made sense to me at the time to have it done as my OB was “in there” anyway - but in the absence of being in hospital for a c section I would have chosen a less invasive method - i would have expected my dh to get a vasectomy probably.

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Karma Sutra

Your husband is being a wuss. His reproductive organs are external and it’s a very simple procedure. DH had his vasectomy about three weeks ago and I watched it!


The recovery has been good and we were back in the sack so to speak mere days later.


Apart from a small area that is healing well you would not know it was there.


Sex is no different except still have to rely on contraception until he has two negative tests.


The risk of post op complications are rare and recovery quick for males due to his external reproductive organs.


For a woman to have her tubes tied it’s more complicated as our reproductive organs are internal. There are more risks and post op complications.


Tubal ligation syndrome as STBG2 mentioned is more common than it is actually recognised and often woman suffer in silence. With my trouble free and reliable periods I was not putting any of that at risk when there was a simpler option available.


In addition in comparison to a male we are more complicated with regards to the reproductive area because we also have a whole bunch of hormones connected along with monthly cycles and all the other fun things.


If my partner refused to have a vasectomy then he can have lots of fun with his hand and sex would be over.


We can only use barrier methods due to complications with any hormonal based contraception on my part and barrier methods being only as good as the user we were taking risks.


With four kids, two with additional needs with one that has extremely high needs there was absolutely no way there would be more. Even so we had completed our family.


I had two vaginal births with third degree tearing, two cs one emergency and one ‘elective’ as my fourth was far to big for me to birth naturally plus large risk of cord prolapse.


I didn’t recover well from both cs and there were ongoing complications. The post op pain from my first cs was horrendous and I ended up with an infection in the wound.


I certainly expected dh to man up and do his bit but understood that it’s his body his choice in the end.


But he did it knowing that his procedure was minor compared to what I would have gone through and his risks low.


We both enjoy regular sex and dh stepped up knowing what I had been through and was prepared to take one for the team. We had many conversations prior. Although he was a nervous wreck beforehand he did very well.


If your husband refuses to have a vasectomy stop all contraception if you are taking any and shoot the ball right into his court.


No snip no sex.


What a baby he is.

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Have you thought of contraception like the Implanon? The local anesthetic is like a little sting and then you only feel a slight pulling/pushing as the rod is inserted into your arm. I didn't have any of the negative side effects (like weight gain), and I considered this a positive - very sporadic periods (like one every three months) and it was obviously 100% effective in its duration at preventing pregnancy. It was a procedure completed by the nurse at the local family bulk billing medical centre and over and done with in less than 15 minutes. Removal (4 years later) was about the same time frame.


In order to get the Implanon I first had to have a discussion with a general practitioner. I wanted to go off the pill because on the days I was fasting (at the time), I would throw up the pill (rendering the contraceptive method useless of course). He then just asked if a nurse was free and I was able to get it done straight away.


Anyway, like others here, I think it's poor form that your husband refuses to get a vasectomy and is happy for you to undergo yet another life-threatening procedure.

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VeritasVinumArte

[mention]Lucrezia Borgia[/mention] my OB said he preferred not to do tubes when doing csections as the risk of failure was higher. DH went off for the snip instead. I used Implanon while we were waiting..... and even had my Implanon replaced for a 2nd time as at the time it helped keep monthly hormonal migraines at bay.

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@Lucrezia Borgia my OB said he preferred not to do tubes when doing csections as the risk of failure was higher. DH went off for the snip instead. I used Implanon while we were waiting..... and even had my Implanon replaced for a 2nd time as at the time it helped keep monthly hormonal migraines at bay.

 

This is correct. It is not recommended as the pelvic organs are so vascular during pregnancy that they tend to shrink down and ligations have a habit of failing.

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Karma Sutra

Have you thought of contraception like the Implanon? The local anesthetic is like a little sting and then you only feel a slight pulling/pushing as the rod is inserted into your arm. I didn't have any of the negative side effects (like weight gain), and I considered this a positive - very sporadic periods (like one every three months) and it was obviously 100% effective in its duration at preventing pregnancy. It was a procedure completed by the nurse at the local family bulk billing medical centre and over and done with in less than 15 minutes. Removal (4 years later) was about the same time frame.


In order to get the Implanon I first had to have a discussion with a general practitioner. I wanted to go off the pill because on the days I was fasting (at the time), I would throw up the pill (rendering the contraceptive method useless of course). He then just asked if a nurse was free and I was able to get it done straight away.


Anyway, like others here, I think it's poor form that your husband refuses to get a vasectomy and is happy for you to undergo yet another life-threatening procedure.

 


Why should she continue to pump unnecessary hormones into herself when their family is complete and her husband is being a selfish man child?

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[mention]Holidayromp[/mention] I am not a doctor so can't speak at all about the level of hormones being affected when tubes are tied vs contraception like Implanon, but if the OP is after a method that is not invasive surgery and is not something that requires daily manual dosages (like the pill), the Implanon is an alternative as a suggestion :)

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Lucrezia Borgia

yes, several posters on old EB told me that, about not getting tubes tied at same time as c section (too late in my case as i had already had it done) . but my OB suggested it, many women i know do this - i don’t know - it’s worked for me, no complaints - maybe different OB’s have different opinions on this.

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Lady Sybil Vimes

I had mine done after my last c-section and have had zero problems.


I specifically asked the registrar and consultant (both female if it's relevent) about tubal ligation syndrome. They told me the evidence base for it is not robust and that many women having tubal ligations are in an age group where they'll commonly start having menstrual changes which may account for some of symptoms women describe.

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I had mine done after my last c-section and have had zero problems.


I specifically asked the registrar and consultant (both female if it's relevent) about tubal ligation syndrome. They told me the evidence base for it is not robust and that many women having tubal ligations are in an age group where they'll commonly start having menstrual changes which may account for some of symptoms women describe.

 

I have an obstetrician and gynaecologist (both males) who think there is evidence of it's existence so my anecdotal evidence and medical opinions trump yours. I am NOT suggesting everyone has issues.

Your post sounds just like what most of us were met with by the medical field who just can't really be bothered giving the topic the research it deserves.

To assume that a 30 year old who has gone from someone with normal periods, no mental health issues and a wonderful life to one who suffers constantly is a bit of a stretch, especially in my case where I was well educated and working in women's health. After 8 years I grew a tumour of 5kgs and one of the vessels to my uterus ruptured and I all but bled out and required an emergency hysterectomy and a week in ICU. TLS was most definitely a conversation that was had between the doctors and nursing staff,

One of the reasons salpingectomy is now preferred is due to the failure rate and the number of women who have reported TLS.

I was 33 when it hit....pretty sure I was not ready for menstrual changes due to age.


efs

Edited by STBG +2
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yes, several posters on old EB told me that, about not getting tubes tied at same time as c section (too late in my case as i had already had it done) . but my OB suggested it, many women i know do this - i don’t know - it’s worked for me, no complaints - maybe different OB’s have different opinions on this.

 

They all know the risks, some are just more willing to take the chance it will be okay because it usually is. If you could see inside the pelvis of a recently delivered woman it is often difficult to locate some landmarks due to the fact that some have moved out of the way and because they are so engorged. Most surgeons will be able to work it out and do it properly.

Edited by STBG +2
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Karma Sutra

A man is not defined as what is between his legs but by his actions.


I would find it very hard to continue to have sexual relations with someone as selfish as that.


Admittedly the night before his surgery DH had a tantrum which I totally understood as I did the same the night before my CS ( which I did not want but had no choice) so understood what he was going through.


At one point he asked me what would happen if he didn’t have it and I quietly told him that there would be no further sex between us. Of course he stormed off but I knew he would be back for further clarification.


Sure enough he did with ‘So there would be no further sex’ and I knew he was ready to listen to my reasoning (which he already knew but I think he just wanted to be reminded of it).


I said to him that barrier methods are only as good as the user and every month I run the risk of pregnancy. We both agreed that if I were to fall pregnant it would be an abortion straight away. No worries there. However I told him I worry every month that I may be pregnant as we have condom failure in the past leading to an unwanted pregnancy.


Luckily it was a blighted ovum and rather than waiting for nature to take its course I went to a clinic to remove it and subsequent tests confirmed it. But the hormone drop was horrendous not to mention suffering the indignity of going through such a procedure. I also told him that we are very fertile and I run the risk every month of this and why should I worry and put myself in a position of running the risk of pregnancy when all he could do is man up and have a very minor procedure.


He took that in and went off and went quiet and the evening was quite pleasant.


Sometime during the night DH woke up suddenly and everything fell into place and he became at peace with it.


When we went to the urologist I also signed the form that I agreed to the procedure though I did stress to the urologist that it was his body his choice in the end.


I find DH to be more of a man than before because he underwent a procedure to ensure no unwanted pregnancies and we could enjoy a sex life knowing there would be no more children.


I am more in love with him as a resul.


I have told him on numerous occasions that I find him more of a man because of what he did for us.


In return I nursed him for the three days afterwards. I did everything for him including gently washing his bits one night when he was in tears from the pain. It wasn’t an easy recovery.


But about five days after the procedure we enjoyed sex together but we both understand we are to use contraception until he has the two negative tests.


Just for clarity as I said before I cannot take hormone based contraception so it was a case of permanent contraception or no sex at all as our family had been completed and I couldn’t take the risk or the worry that each month that I could fall pregnant.


A person that allows their life partner to take that on board every month is not a man at all just a selfish person that wants all the fun stuff but takes zero responsibility for anything resulting from it.

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