I didn't get her flowers

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Seayork2002
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#51

Chillipeppers wrote: Thu Apr 08, 2021 3:25 pm So it’s been a few months since I’ve spoken to my ex friend and during this time I have been approached by various mutual friends telling me she has badmouthed me and has tried to insinuate to some friends that I have said bad things about them (all not true). I have kept my distance but I have told everyone who has approached me that she is just angry because I didn’t get her flowers and she is trying to stir shit for me now. Yesterday I get a text message from her saying she misses me and would like to chat over coffee. I feel this is not sincere because of all the bad things I’ve heard her say about me. Do I reply or do I ignore the message?
If you want to keep in touch reply, If you don't then I would ignore it

Personally I feel too old to be dealing with other peoples dramas (no I do not count people in real trouble in this)
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magic_marker
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#52

How has your world been without her in it in the last few months?
You could possibly answer your own question here!
There are no monsters under the bed No Monsters in your head Tomorrow brings new day of light Sweet Dreams my Prince/Princess, goodnight. - Containment
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Chillipeppers
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#53

magic_marker wrote: Thu Apr 08, 2021 3:53 pm How has your world been without her in it in the last few months?
You could possibly answer your own question here!
It’s been good. I haven’t had any drama to deal with and I especially like that I don’t have to watch what I say and do around my friends.
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LifesGood
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#54

Chillipeppers wrote: Thu Apr 08, 2021 4:00 pm
magic_marker wrote: Thu Apr 08, 2021 3:53 pm How has your world been without her in it in the last few months?
You could possibly answer your own question here!
It’s been good. I haven’t had any drama to deal with and I especially like that I don’t have to watch what I say and do around my friends.
I think you have your answer - you are happier with her out of your life.

If you feel up to it it might be worthwhile clearing the air before cutting ties completely. You could tell her that others have told you she has said nasty things about you and that you feel its best if you part company permanently.
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IamtheMumma
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#55

Chillipeppers wrote: Thu Apr 08, 2021 4:00 pm
magic_marker wrote: Thu Apr 08, 2021 3:53 pm How has your world been without her in it in the last few months?
You could possibly answer your own question here!
It’s been good. I haven’t had any drama to deal with and I especially like that I don’t have to watch what I say and do around my friends.
That peace there is worth not having her in your life. You can reply and say you're not interested in catching up and wish her the best for the future. Being ghosted isn't pleasant so it would be kind to give her closure.
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Not Escapin Xmas
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#56

IamtheMumma wrote: Thu Apr 08, 2021 5:42 pm
Chillipeppers wrote: Thu Apr 08, 2021 4:00 pm
magic_marker wrote: Thu Apr 08, 2021 3:53 pm How has your world been without her in it in the last few months?
You could possibly answer your own question here!
It’s been good. I haven’t had any drama to deal with and I especially like that I don’t have to watch what I say and do around my friends.
That peace there is worth not having her in your life. You can reply and say you're not interested in catching up and wish her the best for the future. Being ghosted isn't pleasant so it would be kind to give her closure.
That is true, but does assume that she’s going to act reasonably. Which seems unlikely. So in this case, I would just ignore. Just like we would all recommend with a boyfriend pulling the same crap...
‘We judge ourselves by our intentions and others by their behaviour.’
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TheGreenSheep
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#57

IamtheMumma wrote: Thu Apr 08, 2021 5:42 pm
Chillipeppers wrote: Thu Apr 08, 2021 4:00 pm
magic_marker wrote: Thu Apr 08, 2021 3:53 pm How has your world been without her in it in the last few months?
You could possibly answer your own question here!
It’s been good. I haven’t had any drama to deal with and I especially like that I don’t have to watch what I say and do around my friends.
That peace there is worth not having her in your life. You can reply and say you're not interested in catching up and wish her the best for the future. Being ghosted isn't pleasant so it would be kind to give her closure.
Lots of very, very good advice has been given, this kinda summed it up for me
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Odd-1-Out
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#58

Im a straight out type of person and I would tell her that others have told you that she has said nasty things and that your life has been more peaceful without her. It might make her stop and think before doing something like that to others.
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Literally Nobody
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#59

If it were me I wouldn’t even give her the curtesy of any response.

Keep your life peaceful.
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Lurker
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#60

Don't meet with her to air your grievances; it won't teach her anything and will just give her more fodder for her drama and lies. I would send her a text like a PP suggested. Something like "glad you're doing well. I don't want to meet up but I wish you the best".
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#61

Fully agree with what @Lurker says above. You don’t want to be on tenterhooks the whole time wondering what the next trigger for her “you’re a shit friend” is going to be.
Our revenge will be the laughter of our children.
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Chicken Pie
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#62

friends dont do what she did, so walk away and keep your life peaceful
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ANNODAM
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#63

Odd-1-Out wrote: Thu Apr 08, 2021 5:55 pm Im a straight out type of person and I would tell her that others have told you that she has said nasty things and that your life has been more peaceful without her. It might make her stop and think before doing something like that to others.


Yep, this is what I'd do too, or write her a letter.

I hate being ghosted, I wrote a friend a letter back in early January, still waiting for her reply.
Bumped into her briefly in February, no mention of my letter & she couldn't get away fast enough.
It's safe to say that friendship is dead...
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