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Poll: Did you find counselling to be a positive or negative experience?


Darryl

<t>Did you find counselling to be a positive or a negative experience?</t>  

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Sunday night poll time :)


If you have been to a counsellor (social worker, psychologist,relationship counsellor etc.) how did you find the experience?


Votes and perspectives welcome!

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I'm def an advocate for seeing a counsellor or psychologist esp when you are experiencing mental health issues, going through traumatic events etc but you need to find the right one. You may click with some and not others so you really need to find the right fit otherwise it may not be as productive. MIL is going through a divorce with an abusive spouse so I suggested she see a counsellor, she found a local one who she went to twice but didn't click with and has decided not to pursue it which I think is very unfortunate.

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I used to have a councillor I saw every week. This was until he asked me to describe the voices I hear. He stopped the session and stated I was making him feel uncomfortable and I couldn't see him again. It really hurt my feelings. So it was positive and negative experience.

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Overall positive.


However it can be difficult to find someone who is a) good and b) you click with.


According to my doctor, 50% of psycholigists are terrible / should not be working.

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I saw a psychologist about 13 years ago to get some help with depression. I was fortunate to get someone first time who I clicked with well and we worked through a number of CBT strategies. It was really valuable for me.

DH is currently seeing a psych to assist with anxiety, he’s seen a couple previously that didn’t click as well but this time around things are working really well for him.

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I saw a fantastic councillor when I cut contact with my mother. She specialised in adult children of alcoholics and for the first time in my life, I felt like someone just ‘got me’ and all my neurotic tendencies. She really helped me find myself and live life on my own terms.


I’ve had counselling in the last few years to help with acute issues and have failed to click with the person I was seeing. They did provide insights, but I think their approach wasn’t what I wanted so wasn’t as open to accepting what they were saying.

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Over the course of my experience with PTSD, I saw a number of people. There were some helpful things in that experience, but on balance, I'd describe it as negative overall.


That said, in hindsight, none of them specialised in the sort of stuff I was dealing with, and I think that sort of specialised expertise would have been helpful (just not affordable)!


I see the value in the discipline and I often refer people in that direction, but if I were ever to go back (which I hope not to have to) I would be much more selective and less quick to commit to working with someone.

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Guest Alias Grace

I just wish that there was a better system in place for selecting psych counselling. So much of its success relies on personal fit yet the process of choosing a counsellor can often be quite random - e.g. either relying on a generic GP referral or internet, etc. - and is such a leap of faith as a result. And once you do take that leap of faith, it can then be difficult to disengage from the process once you realise that it's not working - especially if your issues are anxiety and lack of assertiveness!


There needs to be a better system in place for matching counsellors to individual needs and for individuals to more easily vet and select from a range of alternative counselling options - because the current system is quite off-putting even when you do realise that you need help.


To answer the question, my counselling experiences to date have been neutral - a few useful insights but no real connection or genuinely helpful suggestions. But I am about to get back on the horse nonetheless.

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Saved my marriage and resulted in the birth of DS. Sounds odd but one of the pieces of advice our couples counsellor gave us was to be more physically intimate with each other. She helped us see it as a gift to our relationship with each other. Budda bing budda boom we got pg with DS by accident after a long history of infertility....

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I had mixed experiences in my adolescence and early adulthood, which I think is probably similar to experiences with all health professionals. I’ve had good and bad GP experiences etc!


My experiences as a psychologist are probably similar to as a client. I feel like there have been times I’ve been able to make a really positive difference, and there have been times where despite genuinely doing my best, I haven’t been what the person needed or wanted at the time. I try to reflect and learn from those experiences, but I’ll still not be right for everyone.

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We saw the oncology social worker at the hospital and then after DS died I saw someone because I hadn't really had the chance to talk through what I'd experienced without having to moderate my words in respect to other people's feelings.

I found it an incredibly validating experience and walked away with strategies I continue to utilise. I don't know how I would have coped without her help.

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Mixed experiences.


Relationship counsellor in the first year of marriage worked almost by uniting us against his advice that we do a trial separation because we were struggling to adjust to living together after being long distance most of our prior relationship. Reverse psychology perhaps?!?


EAP psychologist was an absolute dud- I went to talk about feeling angry and resentful about being screwed over by restructure shenanigans and he was convinced my actual problem was not being convinced about having another baby, and that I should hurry up and get pregnant so I wasn’t so stressed about work!! As I said when I called to complain and cancel “what advice would he have given a man?!?”


Psych referred to by GP after I sought help for being really stressed and anxious about my elder daughter’s development- good and helpful. I felt validated and understood and was able to work through some complex and contradictory feelings and worries.


Ugh, it’s so hard to get the right combination of personality and approach. Especially as by the time you’re stressed/unhappy/worried enough to seek help you’re not really trusting your own judgment.

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For the small number of times I've accessed counselling, negative. Absolute paint by numbers, told me nothing that didn't seem completely obvious to me, and did not help at all.

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I've tried 4 or 5 times to see a psych and it's just never worked for me. I find the process slow, expensive and a little "thanks Captain Obvious". Not for me but I appreciate the place psychologists have.

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I used to have a councillor I saw every week. This was until he asked me to describe the voices I hear. He stopped the session and stated I was making him feel uncomfortable and I couldn't see him again. It really hurt my feelings. So it was positive and negative experience.

 

I'm so sorry you had that experience. What a betrayal :(

 

I just wish that there was a better system in place for selecting psych counselling. So much of its success relies on personal fit yet the process of choosing a counsellor can often be quite random - e.g. either relying on a generic GP referral or internet, etc. - and is such a leap of faith as a result. And once you do take that leap of faith, it can then be difficult to disengage from the process once you realise that it's not working - especially if your issues are anxiety and lack of assertiveness!


There needs to be a better system in place for matching counsellors to individual needs and for individuals to more easily vet and select from a range of alternative counselling options - because the current system is quite off-putting even when you do realise that you need help.


To answer the question, my counselling experiences to date have been neutral - a few useful insights but no real connection or genuinely helpful suggestions. But I am about to get back on the horse nonetheless.

 

This is SO true. And it's further complicated, I think, but the fact that psychs are not allowed testimonials, ratings, or anything on their pages that suggests they have an expertise in an area greater than any other psych. I can see why the rule but I'd guess it really makes it hard for people to tell who they need to be seeing (although on the other hand at least doesn't advantage smooth marketers).

Now that I know about the field I read between the lines as to what therapies they have trained in to know what their leaning will be like, but that's not available to the average Joe. And of course it's not foolproof, there could still be no 'click' but at least it's a lead.


 

I’ve found it better to have a long chat with a friend, one who will just listen and not judge or offer solutions.

 

I think a lot of people go to a psychologist just for them to do this - I think very few friends know the skill of not offering solutions when their friends are struggling - the drive to solve something when you really care about a person is so high.

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I am just about to try and find someone. I have had some really unhelpful experiences in the past and the last few years i have spent all my time and money trying to find someone for DS.


I had someone supposedly offering government funded carer’s services tell me I am not a carer. My DH was sitting in the waiting room with our infant son after having a mental health episode that involved police and hospital and I couldn’t leave him alone so had to bring him with me. The guy was clueless. Also had a bad experience with a work EAP provider who couldn’t offer much help with my work issues but suggested internet dating and then dropped in that he was a marriage celebrant and to keep him in mind.

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Oh dear grumbles, that's shocking :(


I've had bad experiences with EAP too. That said, I just went to who they sent me to - the one time I actually enquired whether my work's EAP had psychologists, it turned out they didn't have any that weren't an hour away, they were all counsellors and other varieties of therapist. Don't know why, as I know lots of psychs who work in EAP but apparently my place didn't have them.

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I saw a psych when I had PND. She was lovely. I think I felt supported by meeting her and gave me a chance to rally talk when I tend to hold my feelings in. Then I moved and had another child on the way and decided to see someone as an early intervention. I did not click with the woman and did not agree with some of the things she told me. She also gave me heaps of tests to do. In hindsight, I think she had me sussed. Whilst I did not feel connected with me, she was actually really good for me and I felt I made more progress with her than the nice one. So I would not write someone off if you don’t connect.


I tried an EAP recently as I felt I needed some support for one of my kids with special needs. I had one session, she was going to send me some stuff and recontact in a month. Meanwhile, 5 months later I have heard nothing. And did not feel I got a lot out of it so have no desire to ring back to push for another appointment.

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I had mediation with a partner long ago and they decided we needed couples counselling. We asked them to please fill the counsellor in but when we got there she knew nothing. She was overly neat in appearance, though wore a flowing scarf to offset that, and she spoke in a tiny girlish whisper the entire time. I knew she was going to be crap for me immediately- she came across almost instantly as overly emotional and sexist - in the sense of believing strongly in feminine roles and that women who did not adhere to them were defective. After one session she demanded that we both declare that we trust each other and refused to consider that this might be a lie and might be unwise. She forced us both to say it or there was no point in continuing. She was a death sentence. I still wish I’d got up and left as soon as I heard her ridiculous whispery voice. We’d both been committed to working on our problems before she made us lie bald faced to each other. I still can’t think of her as anything but provocatively vicious.

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Not Escapin Xmas

I have a psychiatrist AND a psychologist. They are both great.


Did see an absolute shocker when I was in my teens and struggling with my sexuality. It was around 1990. Nuf said.

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Incredibly positive experience with counsellors who are great listeners. Not helpful experiences at all with counsellors who just talk and talk throughout the session.

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I have found trying to actually find a good psychologist who has regular availability to be incredibly difficult and stressful. Years ago I saw a wonderful psychologist who helped me a lot, but she has since moved away and I have never found a good one to replace her.

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