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Poll: Does pornography have a place in a healthy relationship?


Darryl

<t>Does pornography have a place in a healthy relationship?</t>  

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If both partners enjoy it, then why not?

If one partner uses it because the other has a lower sex drive but is OK with their partner using it, then why not?

If one partner is withdrawing into porn at the expense of their sex life, not OK.

If one partner finds it offensive or otherwise problematic but the other partner insists on using it, not OK.


I guess what I'm saying is that I don't see consensual use of porn as a problem.


Whether the creation of that porn is a problem though, well that's a whole different discussion.

Edited by Bad Cat
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As long as it is healthy consumption and both parties are ok with it, why not?


It becomes an issue if there is excessive consumption and or both parties are not ok with it.

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Lady Sybil Vimes

No. Healthy relationships don't include supporting an industry that exploits and trafficks women and children and it isn't a different discussion.

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No. Healthy relationships don't include supporting an industry that exploits and trafficks women and children and it isn't a different discussion.

 

What about written porn or manga?

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How do you know it's ethical?

 

Most TV shows are soft porn these days, just watch those. I’m only up to episode 3 of Bridgerton, and it’s basically 1/10th porn. Don’t think I’ve watched a n TV show in years that didn’t have a sex scene in at least the first episode.


Theres porn, then there’s porn, I suppose.

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Lady Sybil Vimes

Because we hear directly from those involved and some women do it by themselves

 

So the performers say that it's ethical? And if they said it wasn't ethical, would they be employed again?

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Because we hear directly from those involved and some women do it by themselves

 

So the performers say that it's ethical? And if they said it wasn't ethical, would they be employed again?

 

Probably not because prudes like you tar them all with the same brush.


Does it completely escape you that there are women who CHOOSE to work in the sex industry including in pornography? That there are people who wish to continue to work there and make it ethical and consensual and not exploitative?

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Lady Sybil Vimes

Because we hear directly from those involved and some women do it by themselves

 

So the performers say that it's ethical? And if they said it wasn't ethical, would they be employed again?

Probably not because prudes like you tar them all with the same brush.

 

Your inability to answer proves my point. Performers who come out and say that they were abused or raped while filming don't get to work again. There are financial imperatives for performers to say that pornography was ethical, even if it isn't. This is an industry where you can go online right now to the largest porn sites and find women and children being raped.


You can call me a prude if it makes you feel better about supporting an industry that targets women in poverty and aids in the abuse of women and children. Obviously your right to wank off is so much more important.

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Lucrezia Borgia

no, i don’t think i’ve been misinformed.


how do you commodify consent? The whole point of the sex industry is that it offers men the chance to buy sexual access to women who do not want to have sex with them – otherwise they wouldn’t have to pay. it’s a fundamental problem with the sex trade and maybe it’s an exercise in PR to rebrand it as “ethical” - but how would you know? I can accept the ethics of the women involved - but the pimps and the john’s? (without whom the sex industry could not survive).


Consent, meaningful consent - is front and centre in the news at the moment with reports of widespread sexual abuse suffered by young teenage girls at the hands of sydney private school boys and of course the Brittany Higgins case - plus three other women (that we know of). Scratch the surface of any rapist arrested over recent years - porn is invariably there.

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Look, if there was some way to 100% take out the factors of rampant, patriarchal late stage capitalism - are there good-enough safety nets so people have other options? A secure income that covers all basics so that nobody does porn or escort work because they feel they have to? - as well as all the trafficking that goes on in that industry, and don't bother trying to tell me it's not raging through it - then yeah, maybe. If everyone was 100% happy to be there, well paid, not subject to stigma and easily able to move in and out of the industry at will if more palatable options opened up, sure.


But as it stands? Ethical porn is like trying to find ethical foie gras. Can't be guaranteed done, so I won't go near it. And I *miss* foie gras. I loved it till I learned how they make it.


I also loathe being told that concerns about porn and sex work = prudery. Nice name-calling and shaming for bringing ethical issues to light.

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Well according to this thread I’m a prude even though I’ve been a sex worker for years lol

 

It's like that Old EB thread on whether it's okay to bring a bottle of wine to a school picnic... we had lifelong teetotallers being told they were closet alcoholics! EB's gonna EB, I guess...

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