Do you give up "too much" of yourself for your children?

Not really, it does take a lot of time and energy when they are young but we always did as much as possible equal and both had time to ourselves separately which I think helps.

It's awesome having adult kids, i can, do , go and live wherever I want!

Apart from Covid, shook things up a bit.

Being a carer has really made it feel like giving too much of myself isn’t an option, even though it’s 20 years down the track. It’s easier now to carve out ‘me time’ and I’m slowly do more for just me, the balance isn’t there yet properly and I’m not sure when that will be achieved. I certainly envisioned something different when I was pregnant.

I did, while they were little. But now am focusing on getting more of me back.

I've lost everything that made me who I am. I lost my marriage, my home, my family (I can't legally move away from XH), any chance of a career, hobbies, friends, my health - everything.

DS is amazing and I love being a Mum, but it's impossible to be a single working mum with no support and have the full responsibility to be and do everything alone. I had no idea it would be this hard.

XH on the other hand is reliving his carefree 20s.

Hang in there matey, you're awesome ❤

I think I've probably given up to much of myself to many other people for years.

And trying to claw any of it back is really hard, I'm not even sure what it is I'm trying to claw back anymore.

When I was a single working mum I was spread way too thin, now I’m the opposite and I’m probably too relaxed about everything and fairly selfish about having my space.

I have tended to go that way sometimes, but I try to correct it when I notice it happening. It’s much easier to pursue things for me now the kids are getting older though,

As an older mother of one child I would say no. When DS14 was a baby and wanted a feed, my mantra was 'I need to look after myself before I can look after you' which meant I need to get warm and comfy with a drink of water before I can breastfeed you properly. I have also been aware that as I have been studying/working it has been important for DS to see that I have a life apart from being a mother. This has made him very independent and he knows (because I tell him) how good I am to him by not doing too much for him!

It may have been different if circumstances were different so this is not a judgement against parents who have done more or given up more - especially those with more than one child. It is just the way it had to be for me.

When they're little yes. I also stopped working for a number of years which in itself is a large sacrifice. After all the pregnancies, breastfeeding and looking after little ones it's taken me close to 6-7 years (3 kids later) to get back some me time including prioritising health/exercise, getting back into the workforce and socialising.

All I ever wanted to do was be a mother. So probably I give a lot to my kids. Maybe too much. But I couldn't do it any other way. I do work, 3 days a week (although temporarily more atm), but I see it more as work than a career. Two of mine are adults now, and the youngest is 16, but the oldest is unlikely to ever leave home, and not sure about the youngest. I feel at a bit of a loose end now that they all need me less, and I'm not really ready for them to not need me at all. It's hard. I loved them being little, and they aren't any more.

I stress a lot with certain issues my kids have (bullying, school work etc) and I do feel this has a toll on my physical health. Overeating, jaw clenching, poor sleep, headaches etc. But I did actively chose to have 3 kids and I didnt expect it to always be a walk in the park.

My social life has taken a big hit but I feel like maybe that will improve as the kids get older and more independent.

I work part time, my career has definitely taken a hit because there are promotions I would go for if they werent full time but I dont want to do that. And also, my skills havent progressed as much as they would have if I had been full time. Im very lucky I like my job and my colleagues but I do feel more vulnerable if I lose my job since I have school and childcare to juggle / afford which will make it harder to get another role that fits in.

All I ever wanted to do was be a mother. So probably I give a lot to my kids. Maybe too much. But I couldn't do it any other way. I do work, 3 days a week (although temporarily more atm), but I see it more as work than a career. Two of mine are adults now, and the youngest is 16, but the oldest is unlikely to ever leave home, and not sure about the youngest. I feel at a bit of a loose end now that they all need me less, and I'm not really ready for them to not need me at all. It's hard. I loved them being little, and they aren't any more.

They will still need you. It just looks a little different most likely.