OSHC and Manners

Thoughts, please.

My 9-year-old DS likes to do his homework at OSHC so he doesn't have to do it when we get home.

When we got home this afternoon and I asked where his homework was he told me that he wasn't allowed to put it in his bag as he didn't say please.

I sent a message to the instructor that I was on my way back to get it as my DS needed to finish it to hand it back to school tomorrow.

My DS was distressed when he told me that he hadn't said please.

When I picked the homework up I asked why it wasn't in his bag and the instructor said it was because my DS hadn't said please.

I walked out without saying anything, taking DS's homework with me.

What should I have done?

What had he not said please for? Seems like a bit of an unconnected consequence on the face of it. Need more information to be able to say just how cranky I’d be with the OSHC provider.

So he didn’t say please to own his own homework in his own bag? Why did he even need to ask... That’s weird.

So he didn’t say please to own his own homework in his own bag? Why did he even need to ask... That’s weird.

Absolutely.

I would be writing to the person in charge and saying the homework and everything he has is to come home every day.

Forgetting to say please is something kids do. Reminder is appropriate, not penalties or punishment that can lead to consequences at school or with their education.

I agree with supporting carers and teachers, but that was not an appropriate response by the carer at all. Respect works both ways.

It's his belongings. I would have thought that the children are to take home all of their belongings from OSHC each day.

I don't understand why he needed to ask to put his own homework in his own bag. That's just stupid. That carer is on a power trip.

Written complaint to the head of the OSHC, and the school principal so they know what sort of provider they have associated with the school. Is it an independent company or run by the school P&C? If it's run by the school P&C I'd forward a copy of the complaint to them too. I'd also contact his teacher and let them know that if he ever doesn't have his homework that the OSHC carer might have refused to let DS take his homework home and might be holding it hostage.

Fuck people on power trips, especially those who are in charge of children.

Did she even give him a chance to rectify not saying please? As in “what’s the P word” type of reminder?

The instructor is a "he" and no he didn't. The instructor told me he is teaching them manners.

What had he not said please for? Seems like a bit of an unconnected consequence on the face of it. Need more information to be able to say just how cranky I’d be with the OSHC provider.

His bag is not left in the OSHC, it is left outside the room so my son asked if he could put it in his bag.

It's his belongings. I would have thought that the children are to take home all of their belongings from OSHC each day.

I don't understand why he needed to ask to put his own homework in his own bag. That's just stupid. That carer is on a power trip.

Written complaint to the head of the OSHC, and the school principal so they know what sort of provider they have associated with the school. Is it an independent company or run by the school P&C? If it's run by the school P&C I'd forward a copy of the complaint to them too. I'd also contact his teacher and let them know that if he ever doesn't have his homework that the OSHC carer might have refused to let DS take his homework home and might be holding it hostage.

Fuck people on power trips, especially those who are in charge of children.

They were playing outside when I picked him up, so we just grabbed his bag and jumped in the car. With COVID, we don't even speak to the staff, they just get the kids to run to us.

The OSHC is Camp Australia so not associated with the school.

I hate people on power trips too.

That’s shit.

Am I imagining that I’ve heard some negative things about camp Australia?

Fair enough they need to ask to go out of the room but I would be annoyed if they then made him leave his homework at OSHC because of it. Would they make him wee himself if he didn’t say please to go to the toilet?

I too would lodge a complaint.

That’s shit.

Am I imagining that I’ve heard some negative things about camp Australia?

I have to admit that I am not a fan! And my son only goes two afternoons a week and begs me to pick him up early!!!

You don't have to sign them out? Weird.

Definitely put in a complaint. Teaching manners is okay, but withholding a child's possessions, like their homework that is due the next day, is not okay.

It shouldn't matter if he had to remind about the 'please' five thousand times, making him leave his homework in the room is an unacceptable consequence, IMO.

Okay so I'm on a different tangent here and if people don't know I work in a mainstream school in a special needs setting.

I always ask a child to say please if they don't say it, as well as pardon rather than what, sign for yes or no or PECS for a request, removal from refection with an acknowledgement (nod, yes, okay or smile - depending on ability to verbalise). I even structure sentences for children with speech issues - ie "say may,,,,, I,,,, please,,,,, go,,,,, to,,,, the,,,, toilet" rather than toilet.

I see no reason to not ask a child to say please. But why wasn't your child able to add please to a sentence if asked again???? If your child said it and was then totally reused to put it in bag that is sooooo wrong in many level. If the educator asked the child to say please and they refused, I would then not allow the child to put the homework in the bag but I would then do a social story to help the child and if it didn't help I would then hand it to the parent and tell them what happened.

We still need to teach our kiddies respect and proper verbal/sign interactions but it needs to be done in a positive way which would make them want to learn and understand.

Oh I would not like that one bit! That carer sounds like an arsehole. I’d be writing to his manager directing that all of your child’s belongings will be taken home every day. And highlighting that “manners” includes showing respect and the carer has failed to do that. He’s on a power trip, really shouldn’t be looking after kids with an attitude like that.

That’s shit.

Am I imagining that I’ve heard some negative things about camp Australia?

I vaguely remember something about them too...

Okay so I'm on a different tangent here and if people don't know I work in a mainstream school in a special needs setting.

I always ask a child to say please if they don't say it, as well as pardon rather than what, sign for yes or no or PECS for a request, removal from refection with an acknowledgement (nod, yes, okay or smile - depending on ability to verbalise). I even structure sentences for children with speech issues - ie "say may,,,,, I,,,, please,,,,, go,,,,, to,,,, the,,,, toilet" rather than toilet.

I see no reason to not ask a child to say please. But why wasn't your child able to add please to a sentence if asked again???? If your child said it and was then totally reused to put it in bag that is sooooo wrong in many level. If the educator asked the child to say please and they refused, I would then not allow the child to put the homework in the bag but I would then do a social story to help the child and if it didn't help I would then hand it to the parent and tell them what happened.

We still need to teach our kiddies respect and proper verbal/sign interactions but it needs to be done in a positive way which would make them want to learn and understand.

My DS is a quiet old soul. The carer never requested he say please. Just punished him for not saying it. My DS put it on the table like he was told.

Thank you for your insight. It has brought tears to my eyes.

He isn’t teaching good manners. He’s modelling tyrant behaviour. He might lack that insight. If it were my DC, I would feedback in a polite but firm letter. It would most likely be pigeonholed as a complaint but it’s actually valuable feedback to the carer and to your DS that it wasn’t appropriate. Hopefully the carer would take it on board, but more importantly, it would show your DS that you support him and also that such behaviour isn’t appropriate when he’s an adult one day.

A teacher once went on a power trip over my eldest so DH and I wrote a polite letter questioning her actions & cc’d the principal. She called a meeting, went on the defensive and said she felt bullied by our letter, so I was very nice & conciliatory during the meeting, but I later learnt from several other parents that she had caused their kids & them great distress but they were all too afraid of her, so I’m glad we gave feedback.

I have some of the politest children on the planet and it isn't because people refused to let them do things if they forgot to say please. This does seem like a learning moment for the adult.

The quality of Camp Australia staff is definitely variable in my experience and I would be exploring what happened further in your shoes.

Fair enough they need to ask to go out of the room but I would be annoyed if they then made him leave his homework at OSHC because of it. Would they make him wee himself if he didn’t say please to go to the toilet?

 

Or force him to leave his iPad in the room if that was what he was using to complete the homework?

OSHC operates under the National Quality Framework -just like childcare and kindergarten. These are the standards that are expected

Standard 5.1 Relationships between educators and children Respectful and equitable relationships are maintained with each child.

Element 5.1.1 Positive educator to child interactions Responsive and meaningful interactions build trusting relationships which engage and support each child to feel secure, confident and included.

Element 5.1.2 Dignity and rights of the child The dignity and rights of every child are maintained.

Obviously we need to uphold polite behaviour standards. This is not the way to do it. And no I am not surprised it is Camp Australia.

Why do you even need to say please? i'm not sure i would in that circumstances. It you put your hand up or whatever and ask if you may go outside to put your things in your bag that should be sufficient.

Same as if i ask someone to pass me something i'm not going to say please but i'll say thanks when it's done.

That’s shit.

Am I imagining that I’ve heard some negative things about camp Australia?

 

I vaguely remember something about them too...

It was on old EB and mainly about funding and staff. I think the poster had a daughter who worked there.

Okay so I'm on a different tangent here and if people don't know I work in a mainstream school in a special needs setting.

I always ask a child to say please if they don't say it, as well as pardon rather than what, sign for yes or no or PECS for a request, removal from refection with an acknowledgement (nod, yes, okay or smile - depending on ability to verbalise). I even structure sentences for children with speech issues - ie "say may,,,,, I,,,, please,,,,, go,,,,, to,,,, the,,,, toilet" rather than toilet.

I see no reason to not ask a child to say please. But why wasn't your child able to add please to a sentence if asked again???? If your child said it and was then totally reused to put it in bag that is sooooo wrong in many level. If the educator asked the child to say please and they refused, I would then not allow the child to put the homework in the bag but I would then do a social story to help the child and if it didn't help I would then hand it to the parent and tell them what happened.

We still need to teach our kiddies respect and proper verbal/sign interactions but it needs to be done in a positive way which would make them want to learn and understand.

Geesh I hope the child actually makes it to the toilet whilst you force a child with speech issues to say a full sentence.

My special needs child would have extreme difficulty with an adult on a power trip, and although he may say please the first time, when asked again he would see it as a oppositional battle and no one would come out the winner.

The educator was fine to ask the child to say please but it was his actions afterwards that was just wrong.

There’s a difference between teaching a child something and playing “Guess what’s in my head”