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Are family holidays relaxing?


Givingitanothergo

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Givingitanothergo

So have returned from a short family holiday. Only three nights.. Sydney to Gold Coast. So short flight. Stayed at a lovely resort, weather was perfect, kids were and still are happy. But I feel exhausted and broke. I did enjoy our time away but also had moments of irritability. Now Sunday night with a mountain of washing and back to school and work tomorrow and basically feel like crap.


Am I doing it wrong?

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No! Unless there are no kids involved, then I can imagine that would be very nice. For us it's a change of scenery, a chance to eat/drink out somewhere different, and give the kids a few new experiences.


We always end up asking ourselves why we spent all this money and time for all the meltdowns and grizzling that goes on. We still go back for more though.

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MintyBiscuit

Our two are 9.5 and 6 and the last one in January was mostly relaxing. The previous (7 and 4) was pretty good too. Both were a return to somewhere we knew well so we didn’t have to deal with the stress of where things are, what’s open for food, how do we get places etc. Holidays prior to those pretty much always ended up with me screaming at DH at some stage

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Nope. Maybe when they're older?

 

Old enough to be left behind? :ninja:


Nah, they can be stressful. Especially if you return just before school/work returns and you have a mountain of things to do, instead of a gentle transition.

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Seayork2002

We try and do stuff before we go so I have atleast one uniform clean, washing done as much as possible, place tidyish before we go

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Givingitanothergo

We try and do stuff before we go so I have atleast one uniform clean, washing done as much as possible, place tidyish before we go

 

This is good advice. I had good intentions.. but ran out of time.

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Seayork2002

We try and do stuff before we go so I have atleast one uniform clean, washing done as much as possible, place tidyish before we go

 

This is good advice. I had good intentions.. but ran out of time.

 


We are not most organised people in the world so it takes a big effort to do but it does help

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Givingitanothergo

Yeah.. I think it’s ideal to not walk back into stress..

I think I felt worse as whenever I got stressed I was accused of being a whinger or ruining the holiday. Even though I was doing everything for the kids and my partner spent a night out with a mate that lives up there

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That sounds like an overnight excursion rather than a holiday. If I was taking the children somewhere that they had never been before and we would be gone more than a few hours I wouldn’t expect it to be relaxing. Multiply that by 3 plus nights and it still doesn’t become relaxing.


We went to Wollongong a few years ago and it was hell. Backseat fighting all the way there and then refusing to settle in the accomodation at night. I actually thought we might be asked to leave.


The children loved the kids museum visit but all I remember was my 4 year old’s epic tantrum over a gift shop purchase. She got to chose something but there were lots of expensive things and she wanted a dancing unicorn,


I did a solo trip interstate with just my youngest last year and it was full on but just organising the 2 of us was much less stressful than when there are all four of us.

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Givingitanothergo

That sounds like an overnight excursion rather than a holiday. If I was taking the children somewhere that they had never been before and we would be gone more than a few hours I wouldn’t expect it to be relaxing. Multiply that by 3 plus nights and it still doesn’t become relaxing.


We went to Wollongong a few years ago and it was hell. Backseat fighting all the way there and then refusing to settle in the accomodation at night. I actually thought we might be asked to leave.


The children loved the kids museum visit but all I remember was my 4 year old’s epic tantrum over a gift shop purchase. She got to chose something but there were lots of expensive things and she wanted a dancing unicorn,


I did a solo trip interstate with just my youngest last year and it was full on but just organising the 2 of us was much less stressful than when there are all four of us.

 

The 4 year old came home with about 7 new stuffed toys as I couldn’t face the fight or tears .. so this is exactly what I mean

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Are family holidays relaxing? Depends on lots of variables.


Are you doing it wrong? No!


The only family holidays I have found relaxing was ones which have cost an absolute bomb and I don’t have to lift a finger. Otherwise, it’s the same shit in a different location without the comforts or conveniences of home. For those trips, the destination has to be valuable enough or I don’t bother.


I do as [mention]Seayork2002[/mention] does and try to be organised before we go. That means important washing done so we have clothes ready to go when we return. Also, a simple meal in the freezer ready to shove in the oven for at least the first night home without worrying about needing to get to the shops. Over Christmas, it also means book lists ordered and ideally labelled and covered as required.


I also learned to factor in time for myself. No one else will think of it so I book it in early and everyone else can work around it. It could be a sleep in while DH takes the kids out for breakfast (and includes dressing them and ensuring teeth are brushed). I might not actually sleep but order breakfast in bed and just laze by myself for a few hours. Or I might book a massage and time it so I meet the family for dinner a bit later after everyone has managed to get dressed and out without my help. Or maybe it’s a few hours by myself to go shopping. It required DH stepping up and parenting and me letting go of some of my expectations and standards. Doesn’t matter if they have coco pops for breakfast if they eat a decent morning tea and lunch. Or if they wear mismatched clothes.


And I agree with the PP who said 3 days isn’t a holiday. It’s a weekend away.

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The gift shops are the worst part of a trip when you are out and about a lot. DS was particularly bad at airports but my youngest loves shopping and will try and get a purchase in at the most ridiculous places like quick trips to the chemist or hardware store as well as the super children targeting places.


The zoo near us now has a back entrance/exit which is awesome as it doesn’t have a gift shop. It does have snacks on display but no toys. Life changing.

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Givingitanothergo

I agree it wasn’t a holiday but rather a long weekend.. but it’s been our first chance to take a couple of days off since our last overseas holiday due to Covid-19 and work commitments


And it cost a bomb.. doing the sums of flights, accom, car hire and spending. Circa $5k for a long weekend and I feel like rubbish

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From about age 6, we gave the kids a holiday budget/allowance. It was money they could choose to spend however they liked but they couldn’t keep asking us for stuff.


We would split the money into daily or even twice daily or outing amounts depending on the age and maturity of the child. The money was for treats like lollies or ice cream, souvenirs or whatever took their fancy.


After a few tough lessons, they have all learned to think before spending and are reasonable at budgeting.

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We’ve only done a few weekends away and one week away with three kids, but it’s all been pretty relaxing. Previous holidays with two kids were, I’d say, 80% relaxing. I think it depends on the kids and how used they are to travel etc. 4 weeks in the US with a three year old and a 18 month old was kind of hectic but amazing!

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Givingitanothergo

I agree it depends on the kids. The age difference of mine definitely doesn’t make it easier. Along with the family dynamic. My 16 has travelled a lot with us and his dad (since we split). So can unintentionally seem spoilt. He often complains about having to go to NZ.

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We try and do stuff before we go so I have atleast one uniform clean, washing done as much as possible, place tidyish before we go

 

This is vital for me, I leave the house tidy and all washing up to date, easy meal in the freezer for the day we get back, and if our cleaner won’t be visiting while we’re away I leave it completely clean too. I might be no fun the day before we leave but the day we get back I can keep relaxing between loads of inevitable holiday washing!

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Holidays often highlight to me how I can’t enjoy holidays like I used to. No more lazing around for a bit, going out for nice dinners in restaurants, enjoying leisurely shopping and being out late. Now it is all about the children, going somewhere with chips on the menu and whinging.


Work out what is in it for you and what is worth it. It was only when my child turned 8 I felt up to doing overseas and even then still close and cheap. We did only get one holiday in before COVID. DH is into lots of travelling and exploring, but I feel like shouting myself in the head with all 3 kids in the car for long periods of time, so I have talked him into only one or two moves per trip. A pool is also a must at accommodation. Giving them spending money before the trip is good to as they are generally too stingy to spend it. I agree with making time for what you want. I enjoyed sending the boys to the boring sounding transport magazine whilst my teen and I went to a DFO. And I just have to make peace with an earlier tea in our accomodation or take away as restaurants at night are not great for us.

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I agree it depends on the kids. The age difference of mine definitely doesn’t make it easier.

 

That would be hard, I imagine their priorities are quite different! I’d consider maybe taking a friend for the older one, I know a couple of families with big age gaps and they often do that for more local holidays.

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