Screen time

This morning, I ruined my kids lives, by telling them I was setting screen time limits for the first time ever. Up til now, I haven’t bothered, as they’ve been ok at self regulating. But lately, they’ve developed a habit of jumping on iPads the second they wake up, and as soon as they get home. It’s gotten completely out of control, and they never want to do anything else.

Just wondering what others do to manage excessive screen time?

And how do you manage your own down time without plonking everyone in front of a screen for respite?

We just say 'you are coming off at x' or 'after this video it's homework time' someday we allow more so I won't put any limits on technology wise

I do exactly as you are planning. Which is great for the most part, except one child will then move on to a pc. So the pc got a password put on it. Then she moves on to the Nintendo switch. Can’t work out how to put a password on that, so I have to limit it by saying “time to put it away now” which always ends in tears and “you’re running my life I want to die”.

So yeah, basically, I’m sure that’s not helpful at all, but it works well for 50% of the child population in this house.

I literally lock the devices in a cupboard overnight. They don't come out until in the afternoon they've played outside for half an hour, done 15 mins of chores and any have homework that doesn't require a device. They get locked back up after dinner.

ETA - we started doing this after lockdown (Vic) last year as all the kids ever want to do now is sit on their iPad or laptop. I didn't want separate rules for the older and younger kids so everyone does the same.

A lot of the parents I know who are precise about screen time limits are also a bit of a bad example. So that’s hard.

I don’t do a lot.

On the weekend, if we aren’t going anywhere, I will casually suggest that I think he’s been on long enough and that is a hint to get off. Which he does.

Though like you there is the switch, the iPad, the pc. So he can cycle through.

Dd is even easier. If she goes on, I tell her that when it’s time to get off, she needs to do it. No complaining or she won’t be allowed on tomorrow. But she doesn’t even ask to go on everyday.

We don't allow ipads or the switch during weekdays at all.

TV is fine for the evening as we have after school activities 4x afternoons a week and homework and instrument practice typically happens in the morning.

My two kids spent 2 hours doing youtube drawing tutorials yesterday which was rather lovely. So in my opinion not all screen time is necessarily evil/equal.

I would limit screen time even more if my kids were not physically active, not reading enough, not helping around the house and/or exhibiting behavioural issues.

We struggle with this, particularly because my husband loves to play video games too! If I think they’ve been on too long I’ll say that we’re going for a walk / sitting outside /going out to the shops and get them off that way. But if I’m busy trying to get chores done then I let them stay on. They are getting better at self limiting as they get older. My 9 yo gets headaches if he plays on his switch/ PS4 too much so he’ll often have a break for that reason.

Popper that’s a great point - both of mine have learned some amazing skills and facts online. It’s not all mind ruining crap. So I’m probably way more lenient than I should be.

Struggling with this too- lockdown last year saw all rules and limits absolutely trashed and it’s been hard pulling back.

Especially for the language-delayed 6yo who has a bunch of apps designed to help tackle various issues in a fun way that I actually WANT her to be using!

Best defence is out of sight, out of mind, and a VERY forgetful mummy who apparently just doesn’t know where they are

We’ve limited screen time since the kids arrived- none until they’re 2, then 30 minutes per day, then for the bigger they now get an hour on non-school days, the occasional movie and on school days it’s either 30 minutes or nothing. No tablets except on flights or long car rides. Lockdown changed that a bit, we added a couple of family

movies per week. If they argue the end of screen time they have none the next day (doesn’t happen often). As for my own down time, they can do quiet activities like colouring or craft or a puzzle etc. if I want to relax for a bit during the day, but I mostly buzz around and relax once they’re in bed for the night.

I struggle with this too, because I have a DH who spends almost all his downtime on his computer. So even if the kids aren't using the laptop or watching TV themselves, they'll be looking over DH's shoulder at what he's doing (and it's not always kid-friendly!) They watch what I do too, but I just mostly read stuff, so they're not really interested. DH plays games or watches video, so they're much more interested in that.

I just try and get them outside as much as possible, let them play at the park or ride bikes or whatever. I've only recently got a smartphone which they don't know the password for, so they don't have anything screen-y to use outside. At home we only have a big, old laptop, permanently plugged into the wall, next to the kitchen, for them to use - no ipads or anything they can take into their rooms. So that helps a lot. If they're on the laptop, I can see them and I do use a timer if I need to (they have to share it too, so it works to say, DS can have 30 minutes, then DD can have 30 minutes).

I do let my younger ones watch tv for about 30 minutes before school pickup. That's the time of day when I'm usually so exhausted that if I don't sit down and have a break, I won't make it to dinner time. I do feel guilty about it, but they enjoy it and it expands their pretend play (they play very elaborate games based on the shows they watch). And all the kids will also watch, say, an episode or 2 of Bluey while I get dinner organised. I do what I have to do!

How old are your kids?

We have a lot of devices/screens and I was stricter than DH for a while and now he has gone past me in strictness

We have teens and a primary age child. The rules differ based on age and I do get the cries of “it’s not fair” but I remind them that their sibling followed the same rules when they were at that age. I also remind them that our aim as parents is to teach them how to become independent adults and part of that is to relax the rules as they move closer to adulthood. I won’t be policing their phone usage when they’re out of home and living their own lives.

We have a general rule of no switch/Xbox/PlayStation use during school term. They get packed up at the end of the holidays and not left lying around to tempt anyone (DH and I enjoy gaming too).

The kids no longer have personal iPads, we removed them as they got more leniency with their iPhones and they received school devices.

School devices must be used at the dining table or living areas so we can supervise the use. We relaxed on this when they reach Yr11 and they’re allowed to use their school device in their bedroom for study. I have warned them that I can enter their room at anytime to check and I may or may not knock.

Phones are to be used in the communal areas of the house and not taken into bedrooms or bathrooms without explicit permission. We have a cabinet in our main kitchen/living area that’s the charging station and we have a rule of no phones are allowed to be used while charging. It’s a good chance to have a break. We also expect the phones to be there at night and is easy for me to check whenever I walk past.

The kids are no longer interested in using their personal laptops and we stopped upgrading them years ago. They’re old and slow now so it deters the kids from wanting to use them anyway.

The living room TV is communal so our family rule is that everyone must agree on a show before watching. I prefer to have it off during week days because it’s just distracting.

The iPhones are the tricky items we have to police. We use the screen time and downtime controls to help us manage their use and separate us as parents, from having to remind and nag. We have a rule of

Our near adult has next to no restrictions and is pretty good controlling themselves. I will sometimes (lead up to assessment) take it away overnight to ensure they get decent sleep instead of being disturbed by checking messages.

The other teen has more freedom during holidays but we have a set number of hours they are allowed each day and they choose what apps they use it on. We have excluded actual phone calls, music and messaging (limited to those in the address book) from the time restriction. I’m a bit mean and allowed use from 5am to 9pm. This teen wanted fewer hours in the morning but more later at night I didn’t mind if they woke up early to use their phone.

The primary aged child gets up naturally at 6am and we limited the phone use to start from 10am so there was some enforced downtime each morning. We don’t get whinging about “can I use my phone yet” because they can check the time themselves. They get 2hrs use in total per day (holidays) and choose how and when they use it.

During term time, phones are put away before dinner (usually 6 ish) and although the teens will check it for messages after dinner and before bed, they’re not glued to it.

It also means no screens before bed which is supposed to be good sleep hygiene.

Ours have one hour on school afternoons and two hours on weekends/holidays (one hour am, one hour pm). Plus additional tv/movie time if it is something we are watching as a family. They set a timer on their watches and know that if they don't finish up when it goes off (i.e. they can finish their level but not start a new one) they risk having their time reduced/lost the next time. We have always had limits and so they don't complain.

Homework that needs to be done on the computer is additional, and 13yo DS is allowed to use his phone for messaging friends, listening to music, looking things up quickly etc.

We have Qustodio on all devices so they are locked from 9pm - 7am and we can also monitor content and set individual app limits etc. I really hate how much of modern parenting is about managing screen time, online interactions, social media etc. It is so tedious, but I feel strongly that it is important not to let them take over our lives so we are fairly strict. I do find it is easier to have clear limits/rules than to do it on a day by day basis though, otherwise every day you are having the negotiation/ whinging/ arguments. When introducing a new rule there might be a day or two of protests but after that they get used to it. I also try to tell them why we are introducing the rule and cite experts if appropriate (e.g. "I read a study today that showed that kids who have more than an hour of screen time on school days don't do enough activity to keep their bodies strong. That's why it is important for us to help you be healthy and why we will be limiting screen time from now on" etc).

We have primary school kids and they get the iPad after homework from 5-8pm and 4pm on weekends.

They charge in a dock in kitchen overnight and we have you tube kids and that’s it. We’re pretty strict with it as I can see it being a problem when they’re older.

Dad has an Xbox and he will let them play on the weekends only but not during week or ever during the day.