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Tweenager support thread..


riotproof

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DS is 11. Suddenly my house has this bundle of irritation, hormones and testiness. Doors slamming all the time. His face is a pimplefest, and even though he’s got cleanser, he forgets to wash it off which irritates the skin and him when I remind him to do it.


Today he broke the pump toothpaste I buy because they are incapable of squeezing a tube without making a mess, because he threw it. I couldn’t work out how it could have broken from normal use, he did own up after a few questions.


Where did my sweet boy go?

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VeritasVinumArte

We went for Cetaphil facial wipes so they didn’t have to wipe anything off. Don’t discount going to the Dr for help with pimples and acne. My eldest was on Roaccutane at 12 his acne was that bad. It did do wonders for his skin.


We would calmly call out any disrespect (along the lines of “would you do that in front of Mrs X (scary vice principal)? Then why do you believe it is acceptable to do in front of us?”.


I now have 13/15yos who I would say are great 99% of the time. Miss 11 on the other hand is a complete mess and doesn’t respond to stuff like her brother’s did.

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DD is 12 in just under a month - she’s been waking up during the night and coming into our room/bed. I take her back if I wake up, but sometimes I just think “stuff it, she probably won’t want anything to do with us soon”, and let her stay, luckily she’s only small. She finds it hard to go back to sleep if she wakes up during the night. We have relocated the dog to the bathroom to curb his night time barking!!

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My 12 yo is either on top of the world or there’s a literal storm cloud above her head. No happy medium!! She just had her first week of high school and I think she’s emotionally exhausted. Lots of friendship stuff to navigate and one of her old primary school friends has been a real cow to her online.

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  • 2 weeks later...

So, ds wasn’t getting anything out of swimming, and we let him quit. He can do all the strokes, it’s just not stylistically perfect like the school aims for, but they are all about training for racing as they get older. So, no worries right? Now dh is forced to go back in the office, ds has to come along again every time for DD’s lessons...


Last night, he informed me that this is “TORTURE!” mainly because people are always talking or playing their games and no one knows to use headphones etc etc so he can’t even concentrate on a book.. and I am just laughing at the drama. And then he took the bins out to the street, which had some heavy brake stuff in it and oh lord, the carry on.

Then he said the only good thing about bins is bringing in the empty, so I had to promise to leave that chore for him this afternoon.

I mean really? Christ on a bike.


This morning.. ray of actual sunshine. Got ready, didn’t poke sister, packed bag, super happy.

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I found myself doing this as DS gets older I forget sometimes he is 13 (i mean that genuinely but not that I forget his actual age just the fact he is older) and we have to step back and let him decide for himself more, now we are doing that there is less dramas


It sounds obvious but we have to pull ourselves up on it sometimes, as long as he feels we are listening he is calmer

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You’re very wise sometimes, seayork. I think it’s easy to forget that everyone else is going through the same thing, but they only feel safe enough to do it at home.

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You’re very wise sometimes, seayork. I think it’s easy to forget that everyone else is going through the same thing, but they only feel safe enough to do it at home.

 

steady on! I wouldn't go that far (but thanks) he drives up us up the wall sometimes but he is a good kid, I just remember how I wanted my parents to be with me when I was young and go with that, mind you I have great parents

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Phisohex wash has done wonders for my teens’ acne. We just keep it in the shower.

 

ordering right now - poor DD has prescribed cream etc but now she has her period they ouch

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It’s the yoyoing of emotions that gets to me. Mr 12 is up and down and up and down and sometimes I have no clue which kid I’m going to get. I think sometimes he feels like he’s not quiet ready to be at the level of independence expected of him (4th week of highschool here and it’s all a bit rocky after a good start) and then he gets cranky and does silly stuff because he can. But then wants independence at the same time and to be treated as a almost teen. All of that turns it into a roller coaster. (Add in he still needs his mum in his corner and making sure we show we love him).

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VeritasVinumArte

We have just organised a MasterCard Debit card for Miss 11 (grade 6) so at the end of this term/next term she can organise to get herself (along with 2 friends) from school to a class that starts 4.30pm locally. So they can have some independence and get some afternoon tea etc and feel more “grown up”. All girls are youngest in their family with Brothers same grades as Middle brother (both girls) and Oldest brother (1 other girl).

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 2 weeks later...

Well my tween (almost teen) is a roller coaster of emotions. I am so so exhausted dealing with it.

It’s a combination of hormones, anxiety about high school, tiredness... so I’m trying so hard to be calm and support her as best I can. Fortunately she is very sweet natured and we have a great bond, so she’s polite to me. But so so teary.


I really disliked the toddler years, but I find myself thinking longingly of them and how simple the problems were (total rose coloured glasses I know!).


I am currently feeling so despondent about getting through the teen years. Like I actually don’t know how I will mentally cope if her moods continue and god forbid when my DS hits that stage too. I literally count how many years until both my kids are finished school / legal adults. I know they’ll still have issues, but geez I can’t wait til they finish school/ reach 18.

Only 8 years to go (including this one.) 😭😭

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Yep - totally winging it!


I say to my kids that I’m doing my best, but that sometimes I’ll get it wrong - so go easy on me! 😂


If I had a crystal ball to know how long each phase would last, I think I’d find it all easier. It’s the not knowing.


I’m honestly not enjoying parenting right now. Which I really hate. My kids are really great kids and ‘easy’ most of the time.


On the upside - my DS is currently in a good phase. I’ll try to enjoy it now while it lasts, cos I know it will change soon enough.


Sigh. Nice to know I’m not the only one feeling like this.

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Hermione, I hear you. I really feel like I have no idea what I’m doing most of the time.

 

This is me at the moment. I’m seriously making if you as I go and I swear we find a solution for one thing and then something else happens. And the moodiness 😤🙃😭😭😭. Younger kid is 11 in July. He’s not quiet as volatile but when is is moody watch out.

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Phillipa Crawford

I had a 13 year old and a 2 & 1/2 year old. There was no difference from irrational, emotional tantrums. It actually helped to see the older one as a toddlerlike in the lack of control

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[mention]Phillipa Crawford[/mention] I've been saying for a while now the 12yr old is rather like a giant puppy version of the 3yr old he was...

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